Silent Night

I am a believer in Christmas miracles. I experienced one four years ago with my son.



When he came into our lives, it was because of his autism. His birth parents knew that that they could not meet his needs as well as their two younger boys. As a result, they gave us the most precious gift we could have ever received. He was so tiny for a four year old, and had this smile that just lit up the room.



We were told to see a developmental pediatrician, so we were good little parents and did. He ticked off a list of things our son would not do:



Speak

Play sports

Be in a classroom independently

Show empathy

Express emotion other than mimicking things he’s seen elsewhere

Say I love you in a meaningful way.



I would like to point out that this so called expert was wrong. Our son has gone from stereotypical autistic like behaviors (rocking, flapping his hands, not knowing how to play with toys appropriately) to being an average nine year old third grader. Does he still have tics? Sure. Right now his thing is shaking his head, almost like head banging although this is side to side instead of up and down.

And he hates heavy metal music.



He has played sports, although we don’t like the competitive side of things. He has mad skills, especially in soccer, but the scrimmages drove his crazy. His innate sense of fairness was violated. “Every body needs to get a turn”, he’d yell. “They aren’t playing fair”



My son wants to be a doctor when he grows up. Not just any type of doctor. He wants to be a doctor for Medicine Sans Frontiers (Doctors Without Borders) and help people that wouldn’t necessarily be helped. He has helped at the Banquet, packed school supplies for those who otherwise wouldn’t have them, delivered cookies and other baked goods to the Ronald McDonald House and the Union Gospel Mission. He has visited nursing homes and delivered cookies and sang to the residents. We have made blankets and brought them to the domestic violence shelter. I would say that he’s got a great understanding of empathy, and tries to do a good deed everyday.

Conversation in the car yesterday. “Mom! Guess what I did today?”

“What honey?”

“I held the door open for a girl. Even though she was mean and didn’t say thank you, I did it anyway.”

That’s my boy.



Christmas Eve 2007.

We were exhausted, new parents of a now five year old. We were weeks away from going to court to finalize the adoption, and had family flying in from New Jersey for that and his Baptism. It was our first Christmas as a family, and it exhilarating and exciting and terrifying all rolled into one. What if the whole Christmas thing called a meltdown? Santa didn’t go as well as we had planned and the reindeer petting zoo was a complete disaster. Baking cookies was not the idyllic experience I had envisioned in my Martha Stewart fantasty. I was terrified that he would hate everything we bought him, and that I would be the worst mother ever.

As Hark the Herald Angels Sing played on It’s a Wonderful Life (my dad’s all time favorite movie. I still can’t watch it without a lump in my throat from start to finish), Little Man came and crawled up in my lap. He, and his monkey blanket and Furby B, dragging behind him. I sat on the sofa, looking at the Christmas tree and the movie and this precious bundle of blonde hair and elbows and fleece blanket in my lap. It was at that point, when my heart was so completely filled with love that it happened.

He looked up and me and said, Mommy I love you.

The four words I had been aching to hear. The four words that I was told I never would.

Mommy I love you.

That was it. Nothing further.

I held him so tight, and fought back tears of joy and happiness.

Mommy I love you.

I got my Christmas miracle.

It was no longer a silent night.

Mommy I love you.



My soul doth magnify the Lord : and my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.



For he hath regarded : the lowliness of his handmaiden.


For behold, from henceforth : all generations shall call me blessed.


For he that is mighty hath magnified me : and holy is his Name.


And his mercy is on them that fear him : throughout all generations.


He hath shewed strength with his arm : he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.


He hath put down the mighty from their seat : and hath exalted the humble and meek.


He hath filled the hungry with good things : and the rich he hath sent empty away.


He remembering his mercy hath holpen his servant Israel : as he promised to our forefathers, Abraham and his seed for ever.