Life is meant to be lived as a final copy, not a rough draft.
I've been living as if I'm waiting for a do over.
I know that I've reached my breaking point when I feel as if I'm suffocating when I am stifling my feelings. It's as if I am choking when I'm not speaking my truth. It depletes my store of serenity and peace.
My goal has been to lead an authentic life, and in order to do so, I have to follow my bliss. Lately, I find that lacking in my life, and it makes me sad. I am finding that I am increasingly surrounded by events and people that challenge my faith and commitment. While I know you are given what you can handle, I find myself buckling under the current weight of my life.
I know that this is just a blip on the radar and I will be looking back a few months from now, knowing I'm a better , stronger person for overcoming.
Right now, it frankly stinks.
I'm looking at the big picture, and I realize that a lot of what I want, hope and desire are missing from not only the foreground but the background. In fact, I can't locate them at all. It saddens me that I have deviated from my life path so much, that I need GPS to find my way back.
Nothing is set in stone; all can be changed and challenged.
That seemed like a well-worded cry from the heart. I'm sure you're right in thinking the mood will pass.
ReplyDeleteOne day at a time...I suffered a train wreck (so to speak) in the middle nineties. In 2001, there was a second implosion and in a year I lost much of what was left, including my Mom and Dad, a lover, my house of over twenty years and my former wife who died aged fifty four also. I still love my wife. Nothing has been right since. On the other hand, what I have isn't so bad, considering. So it matters how I look at things. It's risky though. I was financially stripped and my retirement now non-existent. As an old friend says, "It's a great life if you don't flinch."
ReplyDeleteQuite right...in most significant ways there are no do-overs.
Sometimes we feel like we are drowning in a sea of troubles with no way out but when we start making a list of good things we have and how we can change the situations(if possible) it helps us to go on and achieve.You are a great mother and sometimes being a great mother you sacrifice your own wants and needs.Find some time to do something just for you to give you back your bliss.
ReplyDeleteI often think of life as a huge pendulum that is constantly swinging. And I know when I am in the centre of the downward swing there is no where to go but up. This doesn't always make me feel better on the spot but it helps. Onward and upward and all of that. May your pendulum move quickly in the right direction for the changes you want to see.
ReplyDeleteThis seems to come from your depths. I admire that. It is clear you are working this journey and sharing the process and progress.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2012/04/12/in-partnership/