Drain You

Tonight was an epic homework battle. I am sure parents of non autistic children experience battles too, but I doubt that they rival an autistic meltdown. It went from 0-100 in a nanosecond, that ramped up anger. Words screamed, doors slammed, feet stomped.
I'm turning my back on you forever.
You ruined my life.
All these hurtful words over a spelling worksheet. My son, who I once prayed would speak, now uses that voice I longed for to cut, wound, stab. It was a simple assignment that took less than 5 minutes to complete. It was 45 minutes to get to the table to do so.
Needless to say, after I got done prepping tomorrow's dinner and cleaning the kitchen, I collapsed onto the sofa.
I had complete control of the remote and stumbled on Nirvana Live at the Paramount. They were/are/will be a favorite band. Something about them and the rawness of their sound brings me back to my early 20's. I was a college DJ and slowly regressing from the hair metal I was playing on my show to more punk and grunge and back to my roots. Underneath it all, I'm still that snotty little (SLC) punk, and grunge let that side loose again.
There was an energy that Kurt Cobain had that was so "I'm too cool to let you know that I'm rocking out". They led me down a wonderous garden path that I'm still exploring.
Nirvana begat Pearl Jam, Soundgarden & Alice in Chains.
They also reminded me to listen to the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Mr Rollins. I shied away from the hair metal that I was blaring and began to listen to music that really moved me. I went to lollapalooza. I even got my belly button pierced. My changing taste in music was the final nail in the coffin of a toxic relationship.
It empowered me.
Hearing nirvana live instantly transported me to seeing them live at Roseland in NYC. I was in my early 20's, and was into seeing bands live. I had seen fugazi there earlier that fall and was so excited to see nirvana. They were the biggest band in the world at that point.
I was at a precipice in my life as well. I had just started dating the man I would later marry. I started a job training new staff for a major corporation. I was embarking on a new post college life.i had one foot in my youth and the other in adulthood but still straddling the fence.
Less than 6 months later, I was heading towards domestic bliss and Kurt Cobain was dead.
The show ended and I snapped out of my reverie and back to reality. Dishes to be done, bedtimes and more. Despite being drained I need to muffle through.