I am still a compulsive crafter. Thanks to my beautiful sacred space in our house, I have the space and sanctuary to do it. As a result, the Little Man has begun joining me and creating. Its been years since I wrote this originally, and looking back, I see how much I have grown as a person. Letting go of that negativity has been so incredibly freeing.
I will admit that I am overt crafter. I like scrapbooking, stamping, card making, crocheting, cross stitch, needlepoint, quilting, flower arranging, well you name it and I probably do it and enjoy it. I keep Hobby Lobby and Michaels as well as my LSS & LQS in business. I have enough supplies to open my own store and then some. I don't do them as much as I would like to do. I am literally years behind on scrapping to say the least. But since I've been scrapping at lunch time its been a little bit better.
I wish little man would do crafts with me. He used to and then all of a sudden that stopped. Like presto chango over nighto, he stopped. He stopped doing a lot of things, but even better ones replaced most of those bad habits. I don't think anyone who knew him 2 years ago would even recognize him now. I think back to the preschool teacher he had last year. I think back to the stereotypical austistic behaviors-the rocking, the spinning, the toe walking, the echoalia-he had even recently.
I think of all the changes yet to come, as he continues to live, thrive and grow. I look forward to all the firsts, and yet dread them too. Part of me has fear that he will stop growing and even regress. I am afraid that he won't be as successful as I hope, and that I am ready for a big fall.
I grew up in a family where there wasn't a lot of positivity and hope. My grandmother never wanted to speak of good things, for fear of "jinxing" them. I was taught from a young age that if something good happens, then the other shoe will drop and it all be taken away from you. As a result, I stand here waiting. I scrap because I can preserve that minute of happiness-to prove it really did exist. That I was happy for that fleeting moment in time. That I can have these moments, and maybe string a serious of them together for more happy memories.
Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity. Margaret D. Nadauld
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