One of the archangels I have struggled working with is Zadkiel, the angel of forgiveness, mercy and benevolence. I struggle with forgiveness issues, and I know that it is a shortcoming in my life. I try not to hold grudges, but some of my life experiences have caused me to not always be as merciful as I could be. Forgiveness doesn’t always come easy to me, especially forgiving myself. Despite being in therapy off and on over nearly three decades, I haven’t gotten to the point of complete emotional healing.
Self esteem plays into most of it, and that feeling of not being good enough. I hold myself to a pretty high standard, and when I don’t live up to that, I come down pretty hard on myself. That perfectionist behavior has hindered me over the years, but I am working very hard to change those ingrained habits. I know I *should* work with Zadkiel more to move healing along, but fear also plays into it. I am quite fearful of releasing those grudges and that pain and being free of bondage. I never lived my life like that, and it is a very scary proposition for me. One of the things I do when I plan on working with her is I surround myself with amethyst crystals. I also envision the person or situation I need to forgive in purple light and I work on wishing them well and sending them love.
Out of all the angels I work with, Zadkiel inspires the most journaling and the most emotional responses.
There is a great you tube video featuring a meditation on forgiveness that I recommend:http://youtu.be/LiDzATgVvfE
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