There are eight limbs of yoga (the actual poses are just a very small part of it actually). One of the limbs is yama, or self restraints. One of them is asteya, which translates from the Sanskrit as non stealing, non coveting and non entering into debt. It is very similar to several of the 10 commandments-don’t steal, don’t covet, don’t make a false oath (which is really what debt is-you made an agreement to take money that wasn’t yours). I am ok with the not stealing part, but the other two, well…let’s just say they’ve been a struggle for me.
Do not covet…I have spent a good chunk of my life coveting other people’s lives, stuff and then some. There were a lot of if only I could lose weight and look like (insert name here) my life would be perfect. If I dressed like so and so, more people would like me. If I drove that car, I would finally be cool. Marketing is intended to make us covet, because that’s how products are sold. It’s not the product or service itself-it’s the promise of if you had it, your life would change. Maybe it’s the wisdom of graying hair and wrinkling, but I am much more comfortable in my own skin. I don’t have an issue saying that I don’t support x, or y is not on my food plan or z is tested on animals or q is genetically modified. I don’t want what others have, because I have enough. I am enough without all these different goods…I am in the process of simplifying my life now, and it’s ok.
The not entering into debt is another issue I struggled with, mainly because of the whole coveting thing. I spent money that wasn’t mine to buy things I didn’t need. When the economy took a downtown in the last few years, conspicuous consumption caught up with a lot of people. In its aftermath, I realized how I was stuck on the hamster wheel of trying to impress people I didn’t like with things I couldn’t afford. Debt is a weight on you, and until its gone, you can’t catch your breath fully. I have learned the hard way about how this can lead to ruin, and while it’s been a struggle, I know that I am like a phoenix raising out of the ashes.
Kate Northrup wrote a great book called Money A Love Story, which reframed my relationship with money on so many levels. I already practiced the law of attraction (short & sweet-you attract what you think, conscious or unconscious), except when it came to money. I became a general hot mess, and it showed. I won’t get into a long tortured her-story on my relationship with money, but once I reframed things, life (and my bank account) blossomed. First and foremost, I began to focus on gratitude and abundance. I check my bank balance daily, and I say a prayer of gratitude that I have money in there and that my needs are being met.
For years I have told my son to watch his words, because they have power. If I am using words that signify lack, I am diminishing power in my life. When I reframe the same thoughts in terms of abundance, the law of attraction works its magic. Instead of saying I can’t afford something, I instead say I choose not to get whatever. I stopped using shopping (and money) as a stand in for other things, like love, comfort, pleasure in my life. I spent time indentifying what I value, and then began to base my spending habits on that. For example, I value fresh, organic foods so I spend money on that versus fast food. I also spend a few minutes each night writing in my gratitude journal, and listing 3 things I value about myself and 3 ways in which I added value to the world that day. I don’t need retail therapy to feel good about me. I feel good about me.
I also have reframed my relationship with money on other levels. I don’t have bills anymore. Instead, I have blessings that I already received. I am grateful for the electric bill, because I have lights and air conditioning in my house, medical bills because I am on the road to good health…you get the picture. I don’t have budget discussions with the big man anymore. Instead, we have financial freedom dates. I get dressed up, light candles, make lemon sodas in wine glasses, and we go to town. Its opened up some pretty rad dialogue for us, since money has always been a bit of a sticky wicket. I’m not perfect, but I am getting closer each day to living asteya.
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