Love is All Around

 

I don’t think its much of a surprise when I mention that I’ve battled with low self esteem and all that brings to the table for most of my adult life. I call it the not good enough syndrome. The holidays seem to really magnify this disordered thinking, and can really ruin things for me (and those that I love the most). Between the wanting everything to be perfect to the general stress of this time of year, there is a recipe for disaster brewing.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

 

Seriously.

 

Over the last few years, I’ve learned that stressing out over things isn’t going to make things better, it actually worsens the whole situation. Mommy running around like a lunatic doesn’t beget a great holiday season-it only serves as a reminder that the holidays are filled with stress and misery. I stopped it in its tracks, and instead of going crazy, I am going to enjoy the season (and the reason for it!).

 

There is a lot of planning that goes into the holidays. I have a notebook where I keep track of my master to do list, which stays in my purse year round. If I find a perfect gift (and its in the budget) in June, I get it. I have a designated spot in my sacred space for presents. I stick a post it note on there and away it goes until December. I have to admit my shopping load has lightened over the years. My nieces and nephews are all teens, so I get them gift cards or send money instead of buying presents. The Little Man is officially a tween, so the whole gazillion toys aren’t a must anymore. Sniff.

 

I also make a lot of things, since I love crafting. As a result, I need to set aside time to do so…and remember what I made for whom. Its just a matter of organization. I snap a picture, then use a photo editing program, scribble who its for and then save it to the cloud.

 

For Christmas cards, I use an app called Red Stamp. I design my cards, then send them to a local photo shop (keep it local!) and print them. I buy Christmas cards after Christmas each year to use the following holiday season, and then mail everything by the end of the 1^st week in December.

 

I also have learned that I need to take care of me during this season. I make sure I get 8 hours of sleep every night, at least. If I need a nap, I take one. I know I will be eating a lot of treats I don’t normally eat, so I account for that when I plan meals. I drink a lot of water. I add more activity to my day. I know that I will indulge, so I don’t guilt myself over it, and just go with the flow.

 

When the negative side starts showing up, I take a step back and breathe. Literally. I spend some time each day just taking a breathing break. Five minutes of focusing on your breath makes a huge difference in managing your stress levels. I also make it a point of writing in my gratitude journal everyday. Reminding myself of all that I have to be grateful for is so important when I am feeling down. I also make sure that I do something off my happy list everyday, even if its just using a great foot cream and putting on fuzzy socks or soaking in the tub. Managing stress isn’t as difficult as I used to make it be.

 

I also look for options for dreaded chores. I hate gift wrapping, so I use the gift wrapping table at the mall. It is there to raise money for Children’s Inn, which is a cause I passionately support since it provides shelter to survivors of domestic violence and serves as the first stop for kiddos coming into foster care. I gladly make a donation to them if it means my presents are being wrapped. I simplified my holiday menus, which means we have more time together and I’m not feeling resentful from spending all day in the kitchen. Our PTO has a gift giving program for the teachers-if you want to donate, you just indicate the teacher and the amounts and they get a gift card (all funds are pooled). Bam! One less set of gifts to worry about!

 

I do like to spread Christmas cheer to others. It boosts the moods for both them and myself. I leave cookies for the mailman and the garbage men. I put change in people’s parking meters as I walk down the street. I do the drive through difference and pay for the people behind me. I leave a bigger than usual tip if I eat out. I leave treats by neighbor’s front doors. We volunteer to spread cheer for the elderly and children. If I am making someone smile, chances are its going to make me smile too.

 

I also make sure I have one me day during the season. I usually get my hair done, and rock a mani/pedi. A lot of times I also get a spray tan. I take myself out for coffee too, and just enjoy the solitude. In addition, I make sure I get dates with each of my boys in too. The time alone can do wonders for distressing this season.

 

There are so many little things we can do for ourselves during the holiday season to prevent stress. Pick one thing to do each day to make your burden lighter and enjoy the holiday season more.