Hanging On

My name is Dee and I'm a caffeine addict. It's a long running problem that has culminated in a several soda/coffees/teas a day habit. I am 9 days soda free, as well as limiting my coffee consumption to the early morning, and its been extremely difficult. Beyond comparison.
It started as a yoga discipline. My instructor (yes, yoga teachers also take classes) had a discussion about what is holding you back and keeping you chained-negative thoughts, bad habits, whatnot-and you have become enslaved to it.
It must have been divine intervention because my caffeine love affair immediately popped into my head. During Lent, most years, I give up soda but go right back after Easter. Yes that's a discipline, but it's not a Discipline with a capital D.

I really like this definition of a spiritual discipline by Robert Longman:

Disciplines and practices are tools that are a part of cooperating with the Spirit on the task of remaking us into what God wants us to be. Tools, not magic, not willpower. Tools of surrender and remanufacture. Tools that are used with Scripture, not in its stead. Powerful tools, but only because of the powerful One we're working with. And you are not the foreman on this job.


Food (and drinks) are such a major part of my life, I tend to look at fasting as a discipline. For many years, I literally fasted on both Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, doing juices both of those days from sun up to sun down. It wasn't like in Matthew 6:16

And when you fast, don’t make it obvious, as the hypocrites do, for they try to look miserable and disheveled so people will admire them for their fasting. I tell you the truth, that is the only reward they will ever get.

Either...at least I didn't think it was.

As time marches on, and life has gotten busier, my daily disciplines have faded away. In addition, I have become reliant on caffeine to get through the day. Now that I'm limiting myself to a couple of cups of coffee in the morning, it's a struggle at night now. There have been nights that I collapse on the sofa and fall into a deep, deep sleep. Other nights I find myself sleeping for 10-12 hours (if I could). The artificial energy given to me by that 3 pm venti latte has proven my hypothesis: caffeine has controlled my life and interrupted my sleep cycle.
The downside is the serious lack of energy at night. I'm rediscovering my natural circadian rhythm for the first time in about 25 years. It's not pretty either.
Ive pretty much cured my insomnia. Right now, I can't get enough sleep it seems! I'm just tired. Its as if all those years of chugging coffee and soda are being purged out of me at once. My body is totally rebelling against me too. In addition to the absolute exhaustion, I have all sorts of aches and pains. An online friend mentioned the same thing happened to her, and she was told it was the same as heroin withdrawal!
It eventually goes away, I've been told....in the meantime I'm going to continue resetting my rhythm and finding new energy reserves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9X-dFCIv6w&feature=youtube_gdata_player