It was unplanned, as he originally was going to be home with the Queen this summer. However, my mom is still in the nursing home, 
recovering from her health scare. The Big Man went back to work yesterday as his cellulitis has healed. This means lots of changes that for a 10 3/4 little man with autism, are really really REALLY hard. 
Change and transitions are difficult for most people without a sensory disability. For my kiddo, when things get tough, he melts down. Imagine the ferocity of a toddler tantrum in the body of a tween. That's what happens. Add to it the developmental aspect where it's not cool for mom to hug you, it's hard to soothe. I used to be able to hold and rock, but now that we're older, he's decided it's too babyish. Now I have to stand by and observe as he works through a meltdown.
It's painful.
I wish I could pinpoint triggers, but they aren't always evident. Sometimes it's because he's over stimulated-too much noise or movement in his environment. Other times its frustration over being told no or wait or not now, because the moment is now. It's a very zen concept.
Yesterday, there were so many transitions and changes. It started with banging his leg. Then he lost the straw to his juice box. It ended with a tearful phone call and me leaving work to go get him. My heart sank.
All I wanted to do is hold him and make him feel better. I wanted to wave a magic wand and take the trauma away.
Instead, we went to the park.
He ran, climbed and scooted. I watched, observed and prayed.
We returned to balance.
May today be easier and not as hard.
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