Eet

I will admit that I have struggled with my weight most of my life.
I know how to eat healthy and exercise. I know what foods fuel my body and give me the energy to do it all. Soda doesn't do anything for me health wise, yet I consume it by the gallon. I *should* work out daily because it makes me feel good. I love that rush I get when I run. Yoga clears my head and body as well as making me feel whole. Lifting weights and pilates makes me feel strong and powerful.
I took dance classes up until my late 20's when time and budget would allow. Note: I am not a terrific dancer, in fact I had one person tell me once I looked like I was having a seizure. I just enjoy it. I particularly loved ballet, and continue to do so to this day. I've done jazz and tap too, as well as line dancing and swing dancing. Today I've added belly and ceili dancing to the repertoire as well.
Well, I did.
I really haven't run since the 5k I did in may 2011. I have no excuse really, I just stopped. Same with everything else honestly.
And it makes me sad, because I'm taking away from myself things I enjoy. I used to love to walk the puppy dog, but I feel guilty if I do, that I am taking away from family time if I leave to go to the park.
And that gets to the root cause of my issue. I eat to punish myself. Underneath it all, I feel so unworthy that I stuff my feelings with food. The worse it is for me, the more likely I am to eat it. I just have to accept that some people will never be my fans, and that some people just won't be dazzled by my light.
Im only hurting myself by not eating right or exercising. Period.
As we head into the new year, it's time to make resolutions and think ahead.