Backstabber

The Little Man is now in 5^th grade (crazy how time flies!), and it’s a terrific age.

 Mom and Dad still rule and are cool, but can be relatively independent. I love watching him grow on so many levels, and start becoming an amazing young man. However, this age is not without some bumps and bruises. As these kiddos get older, differences are magnified, and there are more instances of bullying. Luckily, my son has been exempt so far, but not everyone is so lucky. I was about his age when my inner mean girl decided to come and stay. She was/is that negative voice that tells me what I am doing wrong and reminding me just how cool I am not.

 

My Inner Mean Girl is named Jennifer Amy Michelle  Brooke. They were the cool, popular names when I was growing up. I had a unique name, that no one could pronounce or spell. I wanted to be a Jennifer or Amy or Michelle or Brooke in the worst way. They wore the coolest clothes, had the most friends and just had everything (whether they did or not isn’t really relevant. I thought they did). That’s how my Inner Mean Girl came to be.

 

Several years ago, a group of bloggers participated in an Inner Girl 40 Day cleanse. I came across this purely by accident-I was searching for something on Pinterest, and came across an article someone else had pinned. I started down the rabbit hole of reading up on it, and a few hours later, I had a framework to put Jennifer Amy Michelle Brooke in her place, FINALLY. I decided that I would work on the different topics in the cleanse and set about journaling.

 

The first week focused on gossip. Not like E or TMZ or Perez Hilton talking about celebrities, but talking about others behind their backs (and sometimes to their faces).

 

When you gossip, it's self-hexing. Because when you do it, it comes back to you. Everything starts with the word. The word is demonstrating a condition of the mind. If it's in your mind and comes out of your mouth, it will be created.
Iyanla Vanzant

 

Titus 3:2 ESV /   

To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.

I have been on both sides of the gossip fence, and being talked about is quite painful, especially when no one wants to hear the truth. It wasn’t anything really bad or traumatic, but when untruths are being told about you to others, you feel powerless. It can bring about all sorts of negative emotions and behaviors.

Bringing those feelings to the surface helped me realize a few truths about myself:

 

Like attracts like-if you behave in a positive manner, others will behave that way toward you.

When you talk about someone else, just remember they can also talk about you.

Building others up also builds you up.

 

I try to live my life, in the words of Will Rogers, in such a way that I would be ok if I sold my parrot to the town gossip. Talking smack about others just doesn’t fit that model.

 

It also led me to think about my love of celebrity gossip. What purpose-other than a distraction-is it serving in my life? Nothing of substance, to be honest. As a challenge, I avoided them for a week, and realized that I didn’t really miss the latest headlines on who is dating who or whatever. These folks don’t have an impact on my day to day life, so why should I care what they are doing!