Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree

It was the last day of school for my little guy earlier in the week. In addition to finishing 4th grade, its also the last day in his school. Our district is opening a new elementary in the fall, which is where he will be going. It’s bittersweet, because he’s been going to this school since pre-school, so there are a lot of memories. On the other hand, we are all excited about the new school and new possibilities.
On the last day, not much gets done, so his class will be watching movies. As a special treat for it-and since he’s had such a ball in 4th grade, I made popcorn balls this morning. It was super easy and super fast!

I made my brown bag microwave popcorn in three separate batches.

After that I micro waved 2 cups marshmallows and ½ c butter. I stirred it well and mixed in a box of Jell-O (I used strawberry with colored marshmallows, since that’s what was in the pantry). You mix the ooey gooey mixture with the popcorn and shape into balls.

Seriously, it took 15 minutes from start to finish.

3 cups popcorn
2 cups marshmallows
½ c butter
1 box Jell-O

Microwave marshmallows and butter. Stir in Jell-O. Mix with popcorn. Form into balls.

Tangerine Dream

It's a cold, dreary day today and I thought it could use a bit of sunshine. I decided to wear my tangerine eShakti dress. I am not a big fan of ordering clothes on line, but I've never gone wrong with their website. Items can be customized to fit you-so it's like getting a one off outfit at a department store price.
I love retro styled clothes (sometimes I think I was born in the wrong era) and this dress is just perfect. I changed it from sleeveless to a cap sleeve, and switched the neckline to a sweetheart. The color works well with my coloring and I get to wear a great statement necklace too (bonus)!
Ordering is super easy, which makes my shopping easier. I use my iPad mostly, and their site was compatible and super easy to navigate. This was the original dress (http://www.eshakti.com/Product/CL0027385/Retro-style-textured-jersey-dress). It's so easy to customize the size and style all on one page, which makes this mommy happy. Despite the customization, I had my dress within a week of ordering. Unfortunately, the weather on the high plains wasn't cooperating. I had originally planned on wearing it for Easter, but it was 35 degrees that day. We had snow flurries during the egg hunt! I had to put back in the closet for warmer weather-which is today.
Right now, new customers can get a $25 gift certificate when they sign up-it's a great deal-plus there's a major Memorial Day sale going on at http://www.eshakti.com/default.aspx.

(Wish I Could Fly Like) Superman

There are days when I feel like I have a secret identity. Unlike Superman or Batman or any of the other super heroes, I am just a wife and mom. I'm not overly clever.
I don’t have x ray vision (then I can check on my son to see if he’s really sleeping at bedtime) or magic cleaning ability (that would be sweet). I just have the amazing ability to multitask, which if done too much can lead to major burnout.
I digress.
I do feel like I have a secret identity. There are ways that people see me-certain facets of my personality exposed-that make folks think that I am a certain way. When I let them in on my secret, it shocks a lot of people and in some cases, I’ve lost “friends” over some pretty superficial stuff.
It isn’t a secret that my family comes first, no matter what. For the last few years, I’ve been “busy” making a living, and forgetting to make a life. My son went from 1st to 4th grade in a blink of an eye. If I could just stop the world for a few minutes to hug him as a little boy more, I would. I have missed out on a lot of little minutes, and those are just as important (if not more) than the major milestones. I need that family time, to me its sacred. I struggle listening to other women bashing their families, especially their husbands. I equally dislike talking smack about your children. To me, you should be their biggest cheerleaders.
I shouldn’t apologize, but I am as in love with my husband today as I was when we first met 20 years ago. He rocks my world. He can make me laugh like no one else. After all these years, we can just look at the other and know what they are thinking. Apparently, women aren’t supposed to love their husbands-just complain about them. Its pretty easy to get into the habit at looking at all the wrong stuff and not focusing on what’s right. I’m one of the lucky ones-I married a pretty good guy. Not many men would put up with some of the curve balls life has thrown at us without a complaint.
Part of my secret identity is a desire for simplicity. I like life in the slow lane. I like sitting out on the deck, watching the sunset. I prefer my home cooking to a restaurant. I watch Fox News and am a conservative chick. I believe in God, guns and America. I am a passionate Christian. I don’t watch Jon Stewart (even though he graduated from the same high school as the princess) or MSNBC. I do listen to NPR, but I also listen to Glenn Beck. I follow NASCAR and listen to country music. I can line dance and do a pretty mean two step. While I do eat vegan, I am not a very good one. I like steak and chicken too much. My husband drives a pick up truck. He hunts and we both like to fish. I like both silky dresses and jeans. I am the middle ground .
I guess this means my secret identity is part redneck, but that’s ok.
I still struggle with my weight, and working out. I run 5k’s but don’t like to train. I try to eat healthy, but I am currently obsessed with candied fruit slices (don’t ask). I love yoga, but am limited in asana practice due to my still recovering broken leg. I have lots of craft projects that I start but never seem to finish.

Oklahoma

Yesterday a massive tornado destroyed the town of Moore, OK. Watching the devastation on TV was heart breaking, especially knowing that two schools were destroyed-with children and teachers inside. As a mom, my first thoughts always go to saying a prayer of gratitude that my son is ok (as I hold him a little tighter) and prayers for those that won’t be able to hug their children again.
It seems that the last year or so has brought us unimaginable tragedies. From storms and natural disasters to the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary and the Boston Marathon bombing, heartbreak abounds. Several families I know are facing seemingly insurmountable medical issues for their children, from cancer to seizure disorders to autoimmune diseases. It just seems as if there is a black cloud hanging over us all.
Trying to explain tragedy to a ten year old is hard. How do you put a pretty spin on some very dark, dark things?
I don’t have all the answers, but this is what works for our family.
I give love first. I am grateful for the amazing little man who loves his mom and dad, and is growing up into an amazing young man (sometimes way too fast). Its from love that we can be on the same level and share that love with others hurting (even if its in a cosmic way). I also pray before we have that conversation. I meditate on one passage usually (and I’ve spent a lot of time on this passage lately)

We know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Romans 5:3-5

I remind my son of the Mr. Rogers quote-always look for the helpers. In the midst of destruction, devastation and sadness, there are always those there to help. We point them out on the TV or online, because good always vanquishes evil. There are always more good people willing to help. Its reassuring to both of us that there are people running towards the disaster, and make it better. It’s the same principle why we bring cookies to the fire house and police station on Thanksgiving and Christmas-these are people who are there helping when it all goes wrong. After the Newton shooting, my son wrote a thank you note to his principal, because Little Man knows his principal would protect the students just as it happened in Sandy Hook.


We talk about what happened. I let him tell me how it makes him feel. Last December, there was a tragic house fire that killed three children, and it profoundly affected my son. He had a lot of questions, why did the parents get out and not the kids? Do we have working smoke detectors? What would happen if there was a fire in our house? We went around the house looking at the fire detectors and had a great conversation on a family fire escape plan.
When a teen and another man drowned rescuing the girl’s brother from the Falls, my son talked about playing on the rocks at Falls Park. It bothered him because he’s played in that section many, many times. I reminded him that he never went that close to the water, and that if he did, I would go in after him. When events happen close to home, it affects him more because its more real. He can see the locations where they happened, and may even know someone who was involved in the rescue or recovery.

There are always tough questions. Why did God let this happen? Where was God in this? I admit that we don’t always know why bad things happen. I remind him that God has a plan for our lives, and sometimes that plan may not make sense. But like Paul wrote to the Romans (8:31)What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? It may not make sense, but we have to trust in the Lord. We brainstorm ideas to make the world a better place as a family.


Love always wins in the end.

What Becomes of the Broken Hearted?

Six years ago Friday I became a mother. It wasn’t the way I had planned on it. I didn’t get to have a gender reveal party. I didn’t get to wear cute Liz Lange dresses. I didn’t feel flutter and kicks. I never got to plan a nursery. I never felt a baby’s heartbeat from the inside. I didn’t get to complain about pregnancy. I missed out on all of what makes a traditional motherhood experience.

I so related to Hannah in the Book of Samuel. I too prayed, but my womb remained closed. I too, have a loving and supportive husband

to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the Lord had closed her womb. 6 Because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. 7 This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. 8 Her husband Elkanah would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”

1 Samuel 1:5-8

But he could never understand the pain, how defective you feel when you are struggling with infertility. It undermined my self esteem for a very long time. I am sure I have stuffed my feelings with food, because its easier to numb the pain. I remember after my hysterectomy-my final farewell to ever having a child of my own, where I could wonder if they look like me or him-I lost a lot of weight. And I got scared, because how dare I look good because I am less a woman. I remember another PTO mom saying within earshot that how dare I be president because I wasn’t a “real mom”. I remember sobbing like I did as a teenager, when my crush liked someone else.

I wish I could say that motherhood instantly filled that hole in my soul. It didn’t, and it has taken a long time to realize that this was God’s plan for my life. If I wasn’t infertile, we never would be Little Man’s parents. He is exactly the right child for us, and it has been an amazing ride over the last six years. I have had my ups and downs. There have been many, many epic parenting fails over the years. I have yelled more than I thought was possible. I have cried many tears.

But I have also experienced incredible joy. I have the beaming pride when my son accomplishes something new. It is always amazing to see how much he’s grown and changed over the last six years. I love how we are still super close (he is such a momma’s boy, and I am just fine with that!) despite growing up. I would go to the ends of the earth for him, take a bullet for him and whatever else it takes to keep his safe, secure and ok. I pray every night for him to grow up happy, healthy, smart, and well adjusted. I love him beyond words.

Being a mother has changed me on so many levels. I am more sensitive now, and have been know to break out in tears when something sappy happens. I stress over different things now, and I struggle with others. I won’t ever get it perfect, but I hope that my son will look back on his childhood and know he had two parents that really loved him more than anything else. That’s the best gift ever.

O Pioneer

Yesterday I went on a field trip to Prairie Village (http://www.prairievillage.org). I have a disclosure to make-I've had a fascination with pioneer life since reading the Little House books as a kid. I loved the tv show and was obsessed with it. When Mary went blind, my friends & I pretended to be blind, too. We played wagon train on my bed, where we'd put stuff on the bed as we went across the plains. It encouraged me to learn as much about that era in American history.

My favorite little house book still is Little House on the Prairie (which is not the first in the series, that distinction goes to Little House in the Big Woods. My obsession has a new layer as many of the books are set in South Dakota, my adopted home state. Earlier this school year, my son and his class read By the Shores of Silver Lake (http://www.littlehousebooks.com/books/bookdetail.cfm?ISBN13=9780064400053) and I was so excited to share my love of these books with him.
Except, he's all boy and would much rather read Conspiracy 365 or Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

The Ingalls homestead is in DeSmet, SD (http://www.ingallshomestead.com/index.html). The amazing thing to me is her life bridged two centuries and many, many changes in the world. She was born before South Dakota was a state, and died as rock and roll started to take off.

I was fascinated by the various buildings at Prairie Village. The size of the homes-especially the sod house-was amazing in how small they truly were. He was fascinated by the one room school house.
He went on his first train ride.
We saw the Lawrence Welk opera house (which was a source of entertainment in that era)
There were many churches on the grounds.
The boys were fascinated by a snake and a salamander in the bathroom.
The boys claimed everything was haunted.
The carousel was great.
They loved the merry go round the best.

It was a great day to go back in time.

Adams Apple

Tomorrow night is the Little Man's Boy Scouts crossover ceremony. I honestly don't know much about this because 1. We're new to scouting and 2. We're new to scouting. I was very involved in Girl Scouts when my sister was younger, plus I was in scouts too, so I'm more familiar with that. It's a chance for awards, and my kiddo has worked very, very hard in scouting. Plus, it's something he loves. He's grown so much and I know that will continue.
I got an email from the leader asking families to bring treats for tomorrow at 5 pm today. Cause for panic, since I didn't plan on this when I went shopping over the weekend. Plus, it's Monday. That makes creative thought harder. So, off to Pinterest I went, and found a great idea using stuff I had in the fridge.

Apple pie wontons

1 c chopped apples
1/2 c sugar
1 tbsp vanilla
1 tbsp apple pie seasoning
24 wonton wrappers

Preheat oven to 350. Line a mini muffin pan with wonton wrappers. Mix apples, sugar, vanilla & seasoning. Spoon into lined cups. Pinch closed. Bake 20 minutes.

They smell heavenly!