I've been going through my saved post files, thinking erroneously that there wasn't anything there...boy was I wrong. This was originally written back in 2008.
Sometimes going back in time, I find some emotions have stayed the same and that I am stuck in certain patterns. I know that I have a pattern of loss and longing, of not being truly present in the moment and mindful. Re-reading some of these posts, while painful, is a great reminder that I need to work on this. It is most certainly a long time coming...
I know its been a busy season when I haven't written in 2 months. School is in full swing, and then theres the social aspect of things. PTA, play dates, choir, the list goes on & on.
I've been getting used to life as a busy mom. I'm not complaining-most of it is my own doing, I'm just adjusting to a new reality. The last few weeks I've been dealing with a lot of homesickness. I think its because I miss certain things and places and people. Its one thing to share via email or Facebook or this blog, but its different than being there. On one hand I've been missing certain aspects of my single life-the volunteer work I did, the time I spent in the outdoors, either cycling the towpath or hiking. I miss going to lectures and the theatre, opera, ballet. Going to the museums of New York-just going into the city period. That chapter of my life is long past, but there are moments when I miss it. I've never been one to live in the past, and I am determined to live my life without regrets. However, there are moments when I miss those aspects of my life.
I wouldn't trade where I am today-don't get me wrong. I love my family and every day watching my son grow & develop is a miracle.
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