Emotional Rescue

I have struggled with my weight for most of my life. I was a chubby kid, who became a fat teen, and have fluctuated throughout my adulthood. I have been very, very thin and am currently now at my heaviest ever. I have been stuck in the cycle of yo-yo dieting, and its not a good place to be. I know that I am an emotional eater. I have known this for years, yet I seem powerless to change it. I drown my sorrows in Ben & Jerry’s. When I am happy, I love high carb foods like pasta. When I am stressed, I crave salt and sugar (usually at the same time!). Due to this, I was excited to be part of the launch for Dr. Melissa McCreery's new book, The Emotional Eating Rescue Plan for Smart, Busy Women.

 

The book is designed as a month of a rescue and recovery plan, so I worked through it over this past month.

 

Like an onion, there are so many layers to why I emotionally eat. She focuses on different types of hunger-and how to feed them. The book starts off discussing curiosity. I wasn’t sure where this was leading, but I was CURIOUS. She tied in something that I am currently working on-mindfulness. I tend to go through life on autopilot, living life with the attitude if its Monday, its meatloaf and book group. Many of her mindful tips are the same that I have as my list-yoga, dancing, holding a purring cat (although doing windows are not on my list). I already journal, and that has been a habit for about 35 years, so daily writing was already a part of my routine. The hardest part for me was the ME Log. I struggle with food journals. Its caused me to give up on weight watchers and other programs because I just can’t do them. This one is a bit different, because it also includes what you’re doing as you eat and how you feel both before and after you ate. On top of it, there is a space for your hunger level and (this is key) what you are actually hungry for. That was really eye opening for me. Most of the time I did mindless eating, I wasn’t physically hungry, but there was an underlying need that wasn’t being met. After that first week, there were a lot of tears and anger, because I was bringing up a lot of unmet needs to the surface. I think I spent a lot of time in the fetal position because there were many unpleasant emotions. I should add that I am a stuffer. I have a hard time expressing what I really, really want (I would never make a good Spice Girl).

 

Week two didn’t start off any easier. It was time to analyze my log from the previous week. This is eye opening, because I was able to pick out a few patterns. I tended to snack heavily at certain times a day. I used to smoke years ago, and these were the times that I would go and have a cigarette. The automatic response and craving was still there, despite so much time having passed, and that craving turned into food. Thinking about how hungry I truly was also quite revealing. Most of the time I thought I was “hungry”, I wasn’t truly physically hungry. The other thing I didn’t do was SAVOR. I love to cook and combine flavors, but if you asked me to discern what was in each meal I ate, I probably couldn’t tell you. Add to it being part of the clean plate club, I don’t get as much enjoyment from eating as I could or should. Learning to manage that hunger was very important. This is where self care comes in. I love making these lists-it’s the follow through that I struggle with. However, as part of the program, I need to make self care a priority, because that meets the needs I was substituting food for.

 

By the third week, I was feeling more in control over my eating, but I still struggled. The emotions dredged up the first two weeks were quite raw, and I needed to address those first, before I could continue. I took a week off from following the program to get those sorted out and processed. I did continue journaling and taking my mindful time, but did not use the ME log that week. It was very difficult, but I was able to sort through things and get back on track. It was great preparation for the next task-which is finding a support network. For a very long time, I thought I was going it alone, but if the past few years have shown me, I have an amazing cheerleading section that I can always depend upon. The crux of this week is determining your support system, and learning to ask for help if you need it.

 

Setting my GPS was another emotional blow out. It was difficult to confront all the busyness that I have allowed to creep into my life, and take charge of things. As much as I would like to think I live with intention, that is not always the case. Week four also addressed one of my biggest issues-the slump. My weight loss life can be described as many slumps strung together, with the usual pattern. Despite my enthusiasm, I never can seem to break out of them-usually because I am so caught up in the immediacy of the situation. There are some great ideas for breaking out of one, and believe it or not-they work! I can’t see the forest for the trees, or so the adage goes.

 

I can’t say that I’ve lost a lot of pounds on this program, but I have lost a lot of weight. I highly recommend this for other women (and men, although the program is geared towards females). It can bring up unpleasant feelings, but you need to address those if you want to get over the emotional eating that is eating at you.