Monday Monday

I am now just over 6 months post surgery, and I am finally starting to get back to feeling like me again. I don't have as many twinges of pain as I did. My energy level is coming back. The hormones are starting to regulate, although I do still have my days. I alternate between angry and very, very sad. I am still struggling with the post surgical body image...my scar is long, and I have no muscle tone in my stomach.
Things are progressing nicely, but I need to get me back.

me, and the little man 2007

I don't have the quick answer, and I am pretty sure its going to require a lot of hard work and determination. I did run a 5k last month, but since then, I've stopped training to be perfectly honest.

from google images

When I hit the 6 month mark last week, I actually feel like I hit a wall. I came out of the surgery enthusiastic to work out, and then smack! I was more highly motivated a few months ago than I am today.

pilates class-perfect for that tummy bulge
picture from google images

So, I need to regain my motivation. I need to get back on track and get my body back. Its bathing suit season, I am spending a lot of time at the pool with the little man.

lazy river at drake springs

I won't say that I am embarrassed by how I look, I just know it can be better.

http://www.shabbyapple.com/

I don't have an easy answer on it either.

aren't these bathing suits divine?
http://www.shabbyapple.com/

I do know that I am not feeling super comfortable in clothes right now

I love these clothes!
http://www.shabbyapple.com/

and I am not really feeling the love back.

hole in one, mini golf at thunder road
pre-surgery August 2010

I am feeling LARGE.

from google images

Add to it, I am growing my hair out,

I loved my hair like this! 2006 style, not the most flattering pose, but oh well!

camp kaleidoscope 2009

so I am at that awkward stage, where its not quite long,

the long hair style I want

 but not quite short either.

the hair style I've been wearing since, oh 1995

Its there. And its frustrating, because I can't quite do what I want with my hair-

have you checked out http://www.whippycake.com/

like a great updo

from google images

 or a messy braid.

another awesome site! http://www.lovemaegan.com/
great tutorials & super fashion

Its Monday, the dawn of a new week. I am going to try my hardest to get back on track and get back to business.

my love hate relationship, the elliptical

Time to hit the elliptical.

Stuck in the middle with you

A side note on that song...for years, I thought it was George Harrison. It seemed like a George Harrison song; it had to be George Harrison. Who's this gerry raffertty singing a George Harrison song?
However, I digress....
I'm stuck right now at a plateau. Basically, I had this amazing weight loss & was looking good and feeling great, and really working out and eating healthy, keeping track of my calories.
Then I've smacked into a wall. No forward progress. In fact, I might have even gained some back.
I'm stuck.
Nothing is consistent right now. I'm eating a lot of junk, and I'm not happy about that. The pain & achiness have returned, and I'm just not feeling it. I had all these visions of where I wanted to be at this date.
And I'm not there. I was hoping that the family would have joined me on the ride, but they haven't. My son, who used to love fruit, no longer eats it. In fact, he's resistant beyond belief. I put healthy stuff in his lunch box, and it comes home daily, uneaten.
So, in order to get myself out of this rut, I need to change it up.
1. Eating healthy has paid off. I have lowered my cholesterol & blood sugar levels. It's not a diet, its a lifestyle change. If the rest of the family doesn't support that, its on them.
2. Exercising really does make a difference. I feel better when I moved more. I sleep better. I don't hurt as much. I feel great. My skin & hair glow.
I've been doing the same thing for several months now, & quite frankly, I'm bored.
I'm in a rut.
No forward progress. As long as I don't backside...
But here I am, stuck. What was exciting & new a few months ago, has reached boredom level.
I'm tired of the monotony of cleaning the house daily. I'm tired of doing laundry. I'm tired of cooking, & doing homework & all that.
Most of all, I'm tired of cr**py attitudes. Mine, theirs, everyones.
I just thought I would be more active. I thought the nature inclination to eating healthy wouldn't be there.
None of the above is true.
Add to it, a feeling of underappreciation.
Thats where I am right now.
For one thing, I need to get my spiritual life back in order. I need to do something off my happy list every day. I need to take care of me & put on my oxygen mask first.
I need to change up my workouts. Well, really get back into it altogether. I had a good run for a few weeks where I was kicking butt & taking names.
So, I "won" an elliptical on freecycle yesterday & the big man is picking it up today. I have wanted one since forever. I wanted it over the treadmill. It's my first love at the gym, and now I will have one. I can't wait.
Maybe this is the shake up I need. It's meeting MY need.
Maybe I can get un stuck.