Twisting by the Pool

 

This past weekend, it was hot, humid and steamy on the northern plains. In other words, it was the perfect weather to go to a water park.  I should mention that I am not really a water park kind of gal. For one thing, you really need to wear a swimsuit to a water park. Despite all my professions of loving my body as it is, its hard to feel all pumped up about how you look in a bathing suit. I do it because my son loves to go swimming, and as a mom, I owe that to him. So vanity aside, I put on the spandex and go.

I haven’t been a water park fan since the days of Vernon Valley Action Park. It was a water park (using that term loosely) in Vernon, NJ. It was the happening place back in the day, when I was in college, mostly. There was a rapids ride, in a tube like Congo Rapids at Great Adventure, that was a lot of fun. There were some slides that were super terrifying that I inevitably got hurt on. Then there was this grotto like swimming hole that was always filled with creepy guys and idiots thinking they were cliff diving in Mexico. One of the slides gave you a major wedgies so badly you could hardly walk afterwards. Good times.

It was Jersey Shore, minus the shore.

Weird NJ has an entire section on their website devoted to "Traction Park".

Mashable even made a documentary about it. Check it out here: http://mashable.com/2013/08/28/action-park/

As a result, I am not a fan of water parks.

However, my son’s scout troop was going as their beginning of the year kick off. We went to Wild Water West, which is on the outer limits of Sioux Falls. Seeing the rising water slides in the distance always makes my kiddo happy. I was fully prepared for a long, heat filled day with overpriced, unhealthy food and crowds galore.

I was pleasantly surprised.

They had salads. Greek yogurt. Frozen grapes. Water.

Oh yeah, and funnel cake.

Little Man (who, I must add, is not so little any longer) loves the wave pool as much as I do. The first time he went in, he was hesitant, but learned to bob with the flow. It made me think of the Whitman poem:

 

 Ebb, ocean of life, (the flow will return,)
Cease not your moaning you fierce old mother,
Endlessly cry for your castaways, but fear not, deny not me,
Rustle not up so hoarse and angry against my feet as I touch you
         or gather from you.

From Walt Whitman’s As I Ebb’d with the Ocean of Life

 

 

There is a pirate’s ship play area. 

Its designed for kiddos, but of course teens and even some adults (like me) can’t resist. I went on there to make sure my son was ok. There is a giant pirate head that fills up with water, and then pours it out in a giant, whooshing dunking motion. 

My son said to me that it happens every 45 seconds. We stood and counted together, as we waited to get dunked. Not very long ago, my son was terrified of having his hair washed and getting water on his head. That day, we were drenched by gallons and gallons of water.

He convinced me to go down the slides with him. We laughed and had more fun than we’ve had together lately. We climbed ropes and gangplanks. 

We shot water cannons at others. And got dunked over and over again.

 As we were getting ready to leave, he grabbed my arm and told me to look at the sunset starting. “Mom, isn’t it beautiful?” Yes, son. Yes it is.

the weirdness of it all

You know you live in an unique state when there is a magazine called Weird NJ devoted to the, um, unique features of your home state.



From Wikipedia:

Weird NJ began in 1989 as a personal newsletter sent to friends by Mark Moran and Mark Sceurman. Gradually it evolved from a fanzine into a public magazine published twice a year in May and October. Abandoned places, creepy experiences, unique people, and strange landmarks were and still are common subjects for the magazine. Past issues have covered everything from the Jersey Devil and UFO sightings to abandoned Nike missile silos, the legend of the "Hookerman" Lights and the life of Zip the Pinhead.

In 2003 a Weird NJ book, made up of content from earlier issues, was published. The next year saw the follow-up Weird US, covering sites and stories across the country. That led to a series of Weird guides for other states and areas, including Florida, Illinois, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, Texas, California and New England, and a TV series, Weird U.S., on the History Channel.

I love this magazine so much that in addition to still subscribing to it despite not living in NJ for 7 years, I have the iPhone app.



New Jersey is a state full of characters. Depending on where you are in terms of geography determines the characters you will encounter. In northern NJ, near the Rockland County border are the Jackson Whites, which are formerly known as the Ramapough Mountain Indians. Growing up, we were told, somewhat erroneously, that they were not Native Americans but instead were the descendents of Tories and runaway slaves. Geneological origins notwithstanding, they do not like outsiders frequenting their neighborhoods and were known as recently as 10 years ago to chase “visitors” away with a shotgun.



In terms of historical preservation, there is a movement galvanizing strength to preserve the buildings of Greystone Mental Hospital. The imposing building was designed by Dr. Thomas Kirkbride as part of an effort to standardize behavioral health treatment in the 1870’s. The facility was designed as a peaceful, personalized facility for 600 patients. However by the 1950’s (prior to de-institutionalizing the mentally ill) it held over 7000 patients, and would be equivilent to One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. Woody Guthrie spent his final years at Greystone, as he suffered the effects of Huntington’s Disease. The facility closed to patients in 2007, and almost immediately a preservation task force has been lobbying for its renovation.



A little south, near Annie’s Grave in Totowa, allegedly is Midgetville. I never stopped to measure these folks, as they were not very friendly to visitors. In all fairness, they lived down the road from Annie’s Grave and got car loads of teenagers looking for a fright every weekend. I am sure they were fed up and done with giving directions, etc.



Even further south, at Quakerbridge Mall, there are two well known characters who frequent the mall, and apparently have for well over 20 years. One is an Asian man, who wears large headphones and wanders aimlessly. He seems harmless, and is there all hours of the day (or evening) and in different spots throughout it. Then there is metal haired guy. I’ve heard from friends my age that they recall seeing him when they were teenagers 25 years ago, and he really hasn’t changed much since then. He too, just hangs out there, mostly in the food court. I would love to know their back stories-why do they hang out at the mall of all places.



Then there are the Pineys. I can’t tell you too much about them except that they live in the Pine Barrens, which is coincidentally, home to the Jersey Devil. They seem to be the equivilent of the holler type folks in Appalachia-tight knit clans, living deep in the woods, and basically being the NJ version of rednecks. The area is so remote that one of the most beloved episodes of the Sopranos used the Pine Barrens as a back drop.



Speaking of the Sopranos (and the Real Housewives, to a lesser extent); there seems to be a misconception that all Italian Americans from NJ are:

1. either in the mob or know someone who is

2. woman all chew gum like cud

3. like to decorate with a lot of mirrors and glass

4. women like to wear animal prints

5. velour sweat suits are a fashion statement

6. big hair still rules

I can assure you that none of these stereotypes are true, and a complete fabrication of tv writers and producers.



If you’d like to explore Weird NJ, check out their website at www.weirdnj.com