Skin

As I make the transition to living a more yogic lifestyle, I am shedding a lot of skin. For many years, I was a compulsive overeater. I used my weight as a form of protection. I was guarding my heart and soul from a lot of things that were hurtful. On the subconscious level, I looked at it as being fat was a better excuse than facing up to the actual situation. Its easier to be fat than to admit you are surrounding yourself with people who are not supportive and caring about you (rather what you can do for them). I used to eat to stuff my emotions, and it was definitely a case of what was eating me.

 

I had a health crisis that caused me to completely re-examine my life and my choices. The first thing I did was eliminate animal based products from my diet. Yes, I went vegan for good. For me, the hardest thing is the fact that the Big Man doesn’t like most of what I eat, so I wind up making multiple meals. I have friends whose spouses went along on the journey with them. That is not true in my case. I also added in whole, home cooked foods. I stopped eating processed junk and soda, and I started to watch the weight drop off me. I lost almost 10% of my body weight in just over 6 weeks by not eating fast food or chips or having cokes multiple times a day.

The second big thing I did was I began to focus on mindful eating. I made each meal an experience. No more eating at my desk at work or during meetings. No more surfing the web or reading a book while I ate. I focused on eating. I say a prayer of gratitude for what I am about to eat. I make it an experience. I eat off real plates, with real silverware. I drink out of real glasses (no more disposable for me!). When I can, I add candles and table clothes, because eating should be an experience. I have noticed I eat less, not intentionally, but it just seems to work out that way.

 

The third thing is I am now owning my feelings. I journal more, and I focus on what needs to be resolved and with whom. I no longer let things fester or be stuffed down. I know I don’t like confrontation, but sometimes I need to do that in order to preserve my health. I am also slowly eliminating the 3 p’s of toxicity: people, places and products.

 

Fourth, I am eating when I am hungry. I don’t feel guilty over what I am eating either. Diets as we commonly know them don’t work. I am living proof of that. If it’s a commercially available diet, I have probably been on it. I could count points, grams, whatever. Since I stopped counting calories, I am losing weight. I am more focused on the quality of food that I am eating. I choose organic, whole foods versus anything that contains products made in lab. Since I started eating real food, my chronic aches and pains have been reduced. I don’t feel foggy headed. I am not constantly tired.  Yes, it is much more work. However, my health is important to me and it’s a sacrifice I am willing to make.

You Can't Always Get What You Want

Tapas is the niyama about austerity. This word used to scare me. I always saw it as living in grayscale, where everyone is miserable. More gruel please.

As I begun to live a more yogic life, I began to think of austerity as liberating. I see it as more limiting the negative in your life and releasing what no longer serves you. The more you let go, the more free you are.

Happy

Its taken 44 years of living to say that I am finally truly happy with my life. I am at the point where I find the joy in everyday things-the sunrise, a full moon, a luscious piece of fruit, my son’s giggle-that make up the truly big things in my world. I wish it didn’t take a health crisis to spur things on, but unfortunately it did, and it was the tipping point. I realized that if I didn’t make the changes I did, when I did, I would be dead in a few years. I used to be dependent on other people, places and products to make me happy. There were a lot of if only’s going on in my life. If only I had such a such thing, if only I was going to x event, if only so and so was my friend, I would be happy.

And more often than not, I was miserable.

I realized that health, family and love are the three most important things in life. Material things are nice, but not necessary to lead a contented, happy life. I spend time every day writing in my gratitude journal at least 10 things I am grateful for. The more I think about it, the more things I find.

I also keep a happy list, things that make me well, happy. Every day I do at least 3 things from that list. It can be as simple as smelling my coffee as it brews, giving my dog a belly rub and snuggling with my son (which is what I accomplished yesterday) to doing a whole bunch. I have noticed when I slack off on this, things begin to get dark and I find myself falling into that pit.

Down to the Water

Cleanliness is next to godliness, at least according to my grama.

I didn’t always live such a clean life either. Back in the day, I partied hardy. I smoke, drank, ate crap and did some things I wasn’t always proud of. Worse yet, I didn’t always have a clean mind-I let the dark outshine the light. I was a slob on a lot of levels. As I’ve gotten older, I have begun to clean things up. I cleaned up my diet-limiting processed foods, going vegan, drinking more water. I cleaned up my lifestyle-no more drinking or smoking, limiting my contact with toxic people. I’m cleaning up my house too-fewer toxic products, decreasing clutter, letting in light.

Many people think eating clean is hard. Its only hard if you let it be. Its less convenient because I need to cook more and put more thought into what I am eating. I can’t just grab fast food, I need to prepare. I eat lots of fruits, vegetables and grains. I drink a lot of fresh juice. I drink mostly water and limit  my caffeine intake. I watch how much salt & sugar are in the foods I consume.

I spend time every day tidying up my house. Once I got things under control, life got easier. I don’t have clutter everywhere. The chi moves freely in my home. There is more abundance.

I have started practicing the habit of ishnaan (hydrotherapy). It’s a cold shower, done in a specific manner. I take a normal shower after I go to the gym at night, so my morning ishnaan is not necessarily about cleaning. It a way to wake up your body and clean out toxins. This practice comes out of the kundalini tradition, and it is a game changer.

I have a pair of white boxers. I massage almond oil on me. I get into a cold shower and do a little wahe guru dance. When I started doing this, I originally was not convinced, but the more I did it, the better I felt. My skin looked better. I didn’t get sick as often. Plus, I was wide awake without chugging copious amounts of caffeine.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

One of the niyamas in yoga is contentment. Its not just being happy, because happiness is fleeting. To me, contentment is inner peace and sense of well being. Its taken me a long time to get to the point of having inner peace and well being, and letting go of the emotional issues that held me hostage for a long time. Once I realized I could just let them go and move on, it helped me find that wellspring of happiness and bliss.

 

I am a big fan of ritual and ceremony (after being an Episcopalian, how can you not be?). For me, whenever I am dealing with a lot of stress or feeling out of sorts, I do a grounding ritual. No, I don’t send myself to time out (although that could be good too!). Instead, I go outside and play in the dirt. I grab a handful of it, and feel it-texture, color, and smell. As I stare at it, I go through my list of troubles and stressors. After I am done, I throw the dirt behind me, and walk away. Its symbolic that these things are now in my past and I am moving forward.

 

Just doing a ritual with a handful of dirt didn’t bring me to where I am in terms of peace and contentment. It took a lot of work and soul searching on my part, and this is an ongoing process. There are many different paths to contentment and peace, and I have found daily meditation, yoga, and doing things that make me happy every day are my path. Think about what is on your path.

Pure

 

I took a kundalini yoga workshop several months ago. One of the tenets behind this form of yoga is spiritual purification. There are a lot of ways to achieve it, and some were more do-able in the modern world than others. I do have a family, job and other attachments that keep from spending my day in reverence, prayer and meditation (although that does sound pretty great). I have been able to implement some of the lifestyle into my daily life, and I think its made me a better wife and mom, as well as yogi.

 

One of the precepts is having a healthy daily routine, including eating healthy foods, serving others, the importance of sleep and rest and hygiene. There are some ideas that I thought were crazy at first, but as I have tried them, I realize there are a lot of benefits.

 

One was in regards to hair care. Many kundalini practioners have incredibly long hair, and its really lustrous and beautiful. As part of the kundalini practice, they comb their hair using wooden combs for 5 minutes morning and night (reminds me of Marcia Brady with her hair brushing). Another routine is to massage almond oil into your hair and scalp and let it sit for an hour before showering. Since I started doing that, my hair has gotten thicker and doesn’t break as easily.

 

Another kundalini precept is cleansing the mouth every morning. While most of us brush teeth as part of our morning routine, this is a bit more intense. You are supposed to push your toothbrush into the back of your mouth every morning until you gag to clear the “monkey glands” that are in the back of the throat. Also, you should use a tooth powder prior to brushing with toothpaste. It acts as an astringent, and really does clean your mouth. I also think that since I’ve been doing it, my teeth are cleaner and whiter, despite my love of coffee and tea.

 

Tooth powder

1 part sea salt

2 parts bentonite clay

 

Mix together and store in air tight jar.

 

The other crazy part of a kundalini lifestyle is hydrotherapy. Basically, you massage yourself with almond or sesame oil and take a cold shower. As you massage the oil in the cold water, you are supposed to chant the mantra “Wahe Guru”.  I thought the idea was nuts, until I decided to try it. I don’t take an entirely cold shower, because to me, that is not a pleasant way to get going in the morning. However, I start out with it cold, and there are a lot of benefits. One, my skin has never looked so good! Seriously-my skin is super soft, without using lotion. Two, it does really get the blood flowing and gives as much energy as a tall Starbucks. Three, it really makes you look great. There’s something about overcoming a challenge and succeeding.

 

B-I-B-L-E

One of yoga’s niyamas is studying sacred texts. I come from a Christian background, so my spiritual text is the Bible. I have been part of Bible studies for a long time, dating back to when I was in high school. I also have been an avid journaler since I was about my son’s age. As I got older, I began to take notes (and then journal) what I was reading in scripture. I think I have as many prayer and scripture journals, as I do for regular ones.

 

Studying scripture is an important part of my spiritual life. As I study, I jot notes, reflections and impressions in my journal. I also take notes during sermons sometimes, especially if something really touches my heart or moves me. Poems, writings from secular sources that relate to the scripture I am studying also get added. All that winds up in my scripture journal. I also add prayer requests and intentions (from my intender’s circle) and answers to prayer.  Sometimes, I add pictures or artwork.

 

I love going back to my old journals and tracking my faith progress, as well as proof that prayers are answered. There are certain passages that seem to reoccur as well, and I love seeing how I’ve grown over the years. Its also a great inspiration for my son-he sees both his parents walking in their faith, and he can feel confident growing in his.