Three Coins in the Fountain

My son loves to build with Legos. It started with Duplos as a toddler & preschooler, graduating to bigger projects with smaller pieces. His ultimate Lego build would be the Death Star. In the meantime, he keeps himself busy with kits and free building. 

Christmas came a little early this week when boxes came from family in New Jersey. Little Man opened his and there was a Lego architecture kit. It was the Trevi fountain in Rome, to be constructed out of bricks and pieces. Of course I took this as an opportunity for a quick history and heritage lesson. 

While the present fountain dates to the 1600's, the site has served as a water source for Rome back to ancient times. Today's fountain was commissioned by Pope Urban III in 1629 and was completed in 1761. 

It didn't take the little man that long to complete his masterpiece. Instead, it took him about an hour, despite a gazillion pieces and an instruction manual the size of war and peace. 

I'm always impressed with his focus on and manual dexterity when he's building.

Many experts claim that with autism, neither of those are present, but the experts tend to be wrong when it comes to what the little man accomplishes. It's miraculous watching him in action, since I can't make heads or tails of the instructions. I'm not able to build ikea furniture either, but I'm sure this kiddo can. He is very geared towards engineering and architecture, and his mind is very linear functioning. 

“For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.”

Psalm 36:9 NIV

Menu Monday Holiday Edition

It's Christmas Eve, and it's the start of a super special week in our house-Christmas and vacation in our house!
That calls for extra snacks and juice! It's going to be super cold too, so we need hearty, warming meals. When it's a negative wind chill and barely above single digits, the weather is screaming comfort food!

Tonight, our tradition is to have pizza on Christmas Eve.

Love is All Around

 

I don’t think its much of a surprise when I mention that I’ve battled with low self esteem and all that brings to the table for most of my adult life. I call it the not good enough syndrome. The holidays seem to really magnify this disordered thinking, and can really ruin things for me (and those that I love the most). Between the wanting everything to be perfect to the general stress of this time of year, there is a recipe for disaster brewing.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

 

Seriously.

 

Over the last few years, I’ve learned that stressing out over things isn’t going to make things better, it actually worsens the whole situation. Mommy running around like a lunatic doesn’t beget a great holiday season-it only serves as a reminder that the holidays are filled with stress and misery. I stopped it in its tracks, and instead of going crazy, I am going to enjoy the season (and the reason for it!).

 

There is a lot of planning that goes into the holidays. I have a notebook where I keep track of my master to do list, which stays in my purse year round. If I find a perfect gift (and its in the budget) in June, I get it. I have a designated spot in my sacred space for presents. I stick a post it note on there and away it goes until December. I have to admit my shopping load has lightened over the years. My nieces and nephews are all teens, so I get them gift cards or send money instead of buying presents. The Little Man is officially a tween, so the whole gazillion toys aren’t a must anymore. Sniff.

 

I also make a lot of things, since I love crafting. As a result, I need to set aside time to do so…and remember what I made for whom. Its just a matter of organization. I snap a picture, then use a photo editing program, scribble who its for and then save it to the cloud.

 

For Christmas cards, I use an app called Red Stamp. I design my cards, then send them to a local photo shop (keep it local!) and print them. I buy Christmas cards after Christmas each year to use the following holiday season, and then mail everything by the end of the 1^st week in December.

 

I also have learned that I need to take care of me during this season. I make sure I get 8 hours of sleep every night, at least. If I need a nap, I take one. I know I will be eating a lot of treats I don’t normally eat, so I account for that when I plan meals. I drink a lot of water. I add more activity to my day. I know that I will indulge, so I don’t guilt myself over it, and just go with the flow.

 

When the negative side starts showing up, I take a step back and breathe. Literally. I spend some time each day just taking a breathing break. Five minutes of focusing on your breath makes a huge difference in managing your stress levels. I also make it a point of writing in my gratitude journal everyday. Reminding myself of all that I have to be grateful for is so important when I am feeling down. I also make sure that I do something off my happy list everyday, even if its just using a great foot cream and putting on fuzzy socks or soaking in the tub. Managing stress isn’t as difficult as I used to make it be.

 

I also look for options for dreaded chores. I hate gift wrapping, so I use the gift wrapping table at the mall. It is there to raise money for Children’s Inn, which is a cause I passionately support since it provides shelter to survivors of domestic violence and serves as the first stop for kiddos coming into foster care. I gladly make a donation to them if it means my presents are being wrapped. I simplified my holiday menus, which means we have more time together and I’m not feeling resentful from spending all day in the kitchen. Our PTO has a gift giving program for the teachers-if you want to donate, you just indicate the teacher and the amounts and they get a gift card (all funds are pooled). Bam! One less set of gifts to worry about!

 

I do like to spread Christmas cheer to others. It boosts the moods for both them and myself. I leave cookies for the mailman and the garbage men. I put change in people’s parking meters as I walk down the street. I do the drive through difference and pay for the people behind me. I leave a bigger than usual tip if I eat out. I leave treats by neighbor’s front doors. We volunteer to spread cheer for the elderly and children. If I am making someone smile, chances are its going to make me smile too.

 

I also make sure I have one me day during the season. I usually get my hair done, and rock a mani/pedi. A lot of times I also get a spray tan. I take myself out for coffee too, and just enjoy the solitude. In addition, I make sure I get dates with each of my boys in too. The time alone can do wonders for distressing this season.

 

There are so many little things we can do for ourselves during the holiday season to prevent stress. Pick one thing to do each day to make your burden lighter and enjoy the holiday season more.

Bells Will Be Ringing

My son is 11 and as he has gotten older, he has had better control over some autistic behaviors. A lot of that goes out the window during the holiday season. There are a lot of triggers for meltdowns for non-autistic folks-its even worse for those on the spectrum. When the Little Man was younger, many “fun” activities left us in tears and disappointed. As I learned to read his reactions and expressions, I realized that some supposedly happy things were actually causing my son extreme pain and distress.

 

Not all kiddos on the spectrum are the same. I always say autistic folks are like snowflakes-no two are the same. These are generalizations and some helpful hints that I’ve picked up along the way.

 

The mall can trigger more meltdowns than any other place except for Wal-Mart. The sheer number of people, the sights, sounds and smells can all cause sensory overload. Plan to go at less peak times (early in the morning or later in the day). Avoid at all costs on the weekend, since there are so many more people there, it can cause a huge meltdown. If you have to go, plan out your trip and use a social story so your kiddo is prepared. Rewards help too-I always let the Little Man have 30 minutes of play time in the play park at the mall to get through with our trip. It was a terrific incentive for him to work on self control.

 

Holiday light displays can be breathtaking. And they can also cause huge meltdowns. My son doesn’t have seizure issues, but other kiddos do, and these beautifully choreographed displays can actually induce one. We drive around looking at the lights, with cookies and hot cocoa, but when he’s had enough, he’s had enough. Our limit is now up to about an hour, but when he was younger it was about 15 minutes.

 

Decorations can cause a lot of issues. A lot of kiddos like to touch and sometimes taste things that may not be appropriate for them. When the Little Man was younger, he used to have an issue with pica (eating non food items). He’s mostly outgrown it, but many other kiddos on the spectrum have the same issue. Pine needles, fake snow (especially the stuff you spray on the windows) and even some ornaments can be licked or eaten.

 

Holiday parties can be overwhelming for anyone, especially on the spectrum. While we don’t ignore invitations, we do limit our time at any particular event if we go as a family. This is especially important if you are going to an event where your kiddo isn’t familiar with many of the partygoers. Many kiddos on the spectrum lack stranger danger, and can do things that may be off-putting or even disturbing to folks who aren’t used to quirky behavior. A friend of mine’s son doesn’t understand the concept of personal space and gets nose to nose with people, which can be intimidating at the very least. I also bring foods that I know my kiddo will eat, because many times there just isn’t anything served that he likes.

 

Church services can be agony for a kiddo on the spectrum. In the Episcopalian tradition, there is a lot of incense and candles on Christmas Eve. While this momma loves the ancient liturgy, for my son it was torture. I’m not an advocate for kids not paying attention or participating in church, but there are certain occasions that you may want to think of an alternative service or bring something to keep your kiddo occupied. We actually attend another church for Christmas because their service is much more sensory friendly. Don’t feel ashamed if you need to get up and leave the service either. You need to do what is best for your family.

 

The holidays can be both fun and challenging with a child with autism. Planning ahead, communicating with others and most of all, relaxing can limit meltdowns and behaviors. Always carry snacks, toys/crayons/books with you so your kiddo doesn’t get hungry (especially when there are long lines everywhere) and bored. Play games while you wait. Most of all, if a meltdown happens, its not the end of the world. Its your child’s way of communicating distress. It is what it is.

Twinkling Lights (Manicure Monday)

For Christmas Eve, I did my nails quite festively. I started with 2 coats of red. I used the glitter polish on the tips like a French manicure. Easy peasy. Now I'm sipping mint tea, waiting for them to dry before church tonight!

Jesus, Messiah

For to us a child is born,

to us a son is given;

and the government shall be upon his shoulder,

and his name shall be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:6 ESV) The words from Isaiah are a great comfort this holiday season. Instead of a season filled with peace and joy, it has been filled with vitriol, anger and unspeakable tragedy. From doomsday having been predicted to the horror of Newton, we need the comforting promise that we too will be delivered. I know I have been shaken to my core since Sandy devastated the Jersey shore. It's hard to fathom a loving God would allow these horrible events to occur. However my faith allows for God to work in mysterious ways to counteract evil. Jesus was born into humanity. He breathed, ate, interacted. Even though Scripture is silent on many details of His life, I'm sure He had some of the same experiences we all have. We have read that He wept and grieved. I'm sure He laughed, too. This season we celebrate Jesus' birth. Handel's Messiahlibretto is based on Isaiah, and his prophecy of Jesus. Thousands of years ago a Messiah was foretold, and we were promised great miracles. Some have come to fruition, others we are waiting for to occur. There is the question of timing. We want it NOW not when God wants it. Miracles happen everyday, even in the wake of tragedy. All of this hope began with a baby born in Bethlehem. Let heaven and nature sing.

Rocking Around the Christmas Tree

I love decorating gingerbread houses, but they don't always work out the right way. In fact, I've had some complete disasters! I haven't given up on the dream, but needed to make it easier.
Enter this brilliant idea from the Frugal Girls on Pinterest (are you on there? I'm Mommydom-come join the fun!). Decorating ice cream cones. Can we say awesome??? And easy?? You need: Ice cream cones Frosting Candy to decorate Spread frosting on the cone. Decorate with candies. That's it. Easy peasy kid friendly fun!

O Christmas Tree

We put up our Christmas tree yesterday. Traditionally, I do it on Black Friday, but for the past few years it hasn't worked out that way. Last year, it went up in mid November, due to my surgery. The year before, also due to surgery, the tree went up before Thanksgiving. This year, it was "late". But definitely well worth it. Our Krazy Kat could not wait to climb up it. Little Man was so excited to start decorating. This is the first year he's really able to truly help. Especially rescuing the cat. (Check the Facebook page for more pictures) We had one of my favorite Christmas albums, Mindy Gledhill's Winter Moon and drank hot cocoa and ate hot chocolate cookies. Hot cocoa cookies 1 1/2 c bisquick 1 c milk 2 bananas smashed 1/2 c baking cocoa 1/2 c applesauce 1/2 c brown sugar 1/2 c chocolate chips Preheat oven to 350. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Mix dry ingredients except chips. Add bananas, apple sauce and blend well. Mix in chips. Drop on cookie sheet and bake 8-10 minutes.

Ice Ice Baby

One of my favorite things to do in winter is go ice skating.
There are several outdoor rinks around Sioux Falls that are free and open to the public. There are charges for concessions and skate rentals, but they are nominal fees.
Popcorn, hot cocoa and more make for great snacks!

Tempted

Sometimes, our elf gives into temptation. He's not the only one! This time of year offers treats and indulgent sweets that can wreck havoc on our waistlines and our energy level.

It doesn't have to be that way.
Seriously.
You can do a few simple things to stay healthy this season.

First and foremost, despite the hustle and bustle of the season, you need to rest. Plan your meals. Take time for yourself.
Healthy snacks can be healthy AND easy.
Slice bananas and strawberries and make a candy cane.
Make a Christmas tree out of endamne, cheese and pretzel sticks.



Yoga can help you de stress.

Enjoy the holiday season!

Movie Night

I guess the elf likes watching holiday movies as much as I do!

I love holiday movies, especially the ones from my childhood. I grew up with Rudolph, Santa Claus is coming to town and the original Grinch.



My all time favorite has to be Its a Wonderful Life. It's not so much the movie itself, but the memories. It was my dad's favorite movie, so when I watch it, it's like he's here. Both of my son's grandfathers passed before he came into our life, and I know both of them would have loved him! Watching the movie helps me have that connection. My current favorite is Love, Actually. It's funny, romantic and stars a lot of my favorite actors-especially Liam Neeson and Hugh Grant. Like many of Hugh Grant's movies, there is a wistfulness and poignancy but it doesn't manipulate you. Movies help to make the season bright!

The Knitting Song

Our elf is a creative fellow. Maybe he's knitting a sweater for the Little Man!

I don't knit, I crochet. One of my favorite things to make are scarves (they work up quickly and I'm not patient!)

Last December, I posted a tutorial to make an easy, elegant scarf that makes a great gift.

We Are Santa's Elves

It's almost that time of the year-time to bring out the Elf on the Shelf. For me, it's a tradition that goes back to my own childhood. It's the first vision of holiday fun. In fact, I used the same Elf that I had until the Puppy Dog mistook it for a chew toy!




When I was growing up, my elf just sat on the shelf. Now, he's a mischievous little fellow who winds up in compromising positions and perpetually in motion.

A few days before, a welcome letter arrives printed from Nola Mommy letting us know the fun is about to begin!


I do 25 days of elvish fun, starting with a welcome elf breakfast on December 1st. That's when the trouble starts! He can shatter the peaceful demeanor of the holiday season, but we appreciate his pranks!

The Christmas Song

We leave our decorations up until Epiphany (12th night), which is traditionally when the wise men visited Jesus and the holy family.
Now that the stress and strain of the holidays are behind us and we are back to normal, a brief recap of the holidays!
Little Man and the Children's choir at church kicked off the holiday season by singing the week before Advent started.
Following that, we had visits to Santa, a magical date with my husband as snow gently fell and lots of hot cocoa.
A child was spoiled.
Cookies were baked. As a counter to the spoiling, we delivered them to the less fortunate. We caroled to a family battling cancer. We sang at a local nursing home. We spread joy wherever we could.
Love came down at Christmas, and stayed.