Love is All Around

When I was 14, I had a consciousness raising. The song Do They Know it’s Christmas was released, to raise funds to help relieve the Ethiopian famine. It was the first time I had an awareness that I could make a difference in the world, and it changed the course of my life. I decided that I wanted to spread love and make earth a happy place to be. Over time, I have refined what love means to me, but it’s a guiding principle.

There are a few issues that I work to change and make better for us a society: food, housing, the environment, women, children and animals. Sometimes they are all interconnected, other times not so much. The volunteer work I do revolves around those areas. The political causes I support are based on those as well. The older I get, the more I realize one voice can make a difference. I have seen it-and continue to see it. I remember the one man standing in front of the tanks in Tiananmen Square. He made a difference. We all can.

Find a cause you care about. One of my pet causes is hunger. I would love to see hunger end in Sioux Falls tomorrow. One way to do it, is volunteering with the Banquet and serving meals. Another is volunteering to fill backpacks for Feeding South Dakota’s Backpack Program. Everyone has something that jazzes them. Find yours, and see what opportunities are available. Most organizations would love to have you.  

For us, it’s a family thing. I look for opportunities for us to serve together. Sometimes it’s serving meals, other times its stuffing envelopes. There are always groups that need help. My son is a Boy Scout, and he needs to get in service hours every month. I am always on the lookout for ways he can get involved. Recently, he volunteered as an usher for Les Miz, and helped at the downtown duck derby. As he gets older, I hope he continues to serve others because we are commanded: what you do for the least of people, you do for Me.

Someone Like You

Brahmacharya being constantly aware of the universe, immersed in divinity, divine conduct, continence, celibate when single, faithfulness when married.

Have you ever thought about how life would be if you wound up with your first love (or some other lost love)? Or daydreamed about some movie star/musician/athlete? Are you in a relationship? Then you are not being faithful.

This has been the source of debate in my home lately. To be honest, I don’t want to reconnect with any past relationships. They are in the past for a reason. When those relationships ended, I wished them well and went on with my life. I’m not being mean or anything, it’s just how I feel. They are in the past, and I can’t go back and recreate that ever again. For whatever reason, it didn’t work out, and its life. We are not all meant to be together forever. I am grateful for those relationships, because they contributed to who I am today. In other words, I am no longer the same person I was when I dated that person. I will never be again. You know what-I have no desire to be that person either.

If it wasn’t for that relationship ending in the past, I wouldn’t have gotten married. I wouldn’t have my beautiful home. My dog wouldn’t be mine, nor would my cat. Most importantly, I wouldn’t be a mom to my son. Things happen for a reason, and while there was some initial sadness when relationships ended, in the end, I am grateful. I love the life I am living and wouldn’t trade it for the world. Facebook and social media makes it really easy to go back to the past, for those glory days. It’s a slippery slope. I think those who chose to reconnect with past relationships when they are married are treading into dangerous waters. What good can it bring to your current relationship? How will it enhance your current situation? Will it make your relationship stronger or will it undermine it?

I don’t care how secure you are in your relationship, when your significant other reconnects with a former flame, there are a lot of anxieties and issues that bubble up. It might start out as innocent, but if one party feels threatened or if it feels disrespectful, it needs to stop. It’s a form of unfaithfulness. It will never increase intimacy-in fact it does the opposite. It is even more challenging if this ex has cast a long dark shadow over your relationship. {note: this is true in cases where mutual children are not involved. In those situations, the more friendly the parents are, the easier it is to co-parent} Once that door has been opened, it can never be completely shut and there will be doubts continually cast. Trust is eroded.

You might be thinking-all this from friending someone on Facebook?

Yes. If you had an intimate relationship with someone, it ended and you’ve married another, you have no business being friends with your ex. You have no need to go back to that, unless you are not happy in your current situation-then you need to end your current relationship. Its cheating, albeit on an emotional level. If you can’t be present fully, you shouldn’t be in that relationship. Period.

She's a Beauty

As a woman almost in my mid 40's, my definition of beauty has changed over the years. I used to think that just supermodels could be beautiful. Or those that could be supermodels. I could never live up to those lofty standards.

Motherhood changed me. 

It was as if my eyes were opened for the first time. 

Beauty doesn't just rest with the so called pretty people.

There is beauty in a bride on her wedding day, kissing her groom.

There is beauty in a mother holding her baby for the first time.

There is beauty in generations, sharing genetics, family history and love.

There is beauty in milestones being met, toddlers wobbling, tying shoes, riding a bike, and the joy parents feel.

There is beauty in late nights, sunrises, sunsets and the minutes in between.

There is beauty in a really good meal or a really good cup of coffee.

It's not the beauty that most people think of.

Conventional beauty doesn't matter. I don't need so called experts to give me a narrow definition of what they think. I used to read the beauty (and other women's) magazines. I bought the products. I succumbed to the marketing. I still didn't fit the definition. 

I have curves where "they" said I shouldn't. 

I really don't need make up on a daily basis.

I like wearing clothes that jazz me, not what some fashion buyers are convincing others to wear.

I wish I had this confidence 30 years ago, because it would have saved me heartache and pain.

I'm teaching my son that beauty surrounds us. I'm teaching him that a woman's appearance isn't the sum of who she is. I'm teaching him that what other people think is beautiful should be seen through his own filter.

And the most beautiful thing in the world is love.

They Will Know We Are Christians By Our Love

I am an Episcopalian. My faith was best defined by Robin Williams during his 2003 HBO special:

10. No snake handling.

9. You can believe in dinosaurs.

8. Male and female, God created them; male and female, we ordain them.

7. You don’t have to check your brains at the door.

6. Pew aerobics.

5. Church year is color coded!

4. Free wine on Sunday.

3. All of the pageantry, none of the guilt.

2. You don’t have to know how to swim to get baptized.

And the number one reason for being an Episcopalian:

1. No matter what you believe, there’s bound to be at least one other Episcopalian who agrees with you.

In all seriousness, my denomination is making headlines over a vote at our General Convention. The item being considered was a liturgy to bless same sex commitment ceremonies (the rite stopped short of calling it a wedding or marriage outright), which was overwhelmingly approved.
That, in turn, caused the web to blow up.
My gut reaction is:
It's all about love. And, since I am a follower of Christ, I am going to do what He requires us to do in Matthew , chapter 22:
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

It doesn't say love your neighbor except if they are gay. It doesn't specify that you can't love them if they are lesbians. It doesn't specify race, creed, orientation or gender, just for us to love them as yourself. That's it. Not much to read into here-it goes back to that amazing four letter word: love.
I don't want to get into a theological debate as to which kind of love Jesus was referring to-
Eros romantic, sexual love
Philos platonic love
Or my personal favorite
Agape-God's love for His creation
Its not up to you or I to judge how someone is living their lives according to faith. I, myself, am a sinner-as we all
are-and certainly don't need another human being taking on the role of God. In other words, don't judge others because you too will be judged.
In Buddhist tradition, the concept of Metta, or loving kindness, should be practiced at all times. In yoga, the term namaste is the light in me salutes the light in you. In Judaism, love is not an abstract concept; it is an absolute. We are obligated to love creation, because it is an extension of self.
The cliff notes version: we are commanded to love. It is the ideal. There are no exclusions or caveats
It's just love .
However you feel about gay marriage or gay people-or fat people, or those with autism, or people different from you, it's ok to have an opinion. What's not ok is to spread hate. The world is a scary, mean place with enough trials and tribulations-we don't need others making it worse.
Jesus commanded us to love, no matter what.

Life's Rich Pageant

My little man is growing up. In my opinion, way too fast. He used to love Nick Jr and cling to me for dear life. Over night it seems, he morphed into a tween. We like Disney XD, the Crocodile Hunter, and LMFAO. Instead of cuddling, I get a quick hug. Kisses have morphed into a high 5. The loud and proud "I love you" is now an inaudible murmur.
Video games, independence and friends are more important. My cuddle bug has been taken away and replaced with this tall, handsome person.
Time marches on.
And I am enjoying every minute of it. I have been blessed with an amazing child who fills my life with joy, laughter and love. There isn't a nanosecond that goes by when he isn't on my heart or mind.
Life's rich pageant, indeed.

Heart Shaped box

My son loves cinnamon rolls. I make them every Saturday for breakfast. Today, I decided to do something extra special. I turned an everyday, roll in a tube into a symbol of love.
It's really easy.
Preheat oven to 400.
Open the package.
Unroll.
Make into a heart shape
Put on baking sheet
Bake 10 minutes
Frost
Eat
Enjoy

I Want to Dance With Somebody

Over the next month, as we gear up for our 5 year blog-versey, I'm going to share things that I am going to do to make my life better.
I've been a dancer my whole life. Before I was born, I was doing in utero high kicks that caused my mother to have a kidney infection. I did ballet, jazz and tap. I was on the dance squad in school. I continued to take dance classes up through my 30th birthday. I still be bop around the house, especially when I'm cleaning or have that rare moment alone.
I tried tribal dance last year and enjoyed it, but was sore for days afterwards.
I try to share that unmitigated joy with my son. We've done ceili dance and swing dance when he was younger. Now he's too cool for it, and I apparently embarrass him when I spontaneously boogie down.
Sometimes, you just want someone to twirl you around the kitchen as you do dishes. Sometimes you just want to dance with somebody.

Moon River

I like very simple, plain jewelry. Some people like a lot of flash, but that's not me. I don't do gaudy well either. I like silver over gold. And I like it to have a personal connection.
My wedding ring.
My grandmother's pearls.
They are like a warm blanket of love.
Speaking of that warm blanket, when the little man was younger, one of our favorite bed time stories was Guess How Much I Love You. It is a story of how much a parent loves their child-and the child loves their parent. There is love as high as they can reach, down the lane, to the river, to the moon. As the little bunny falls asleep, the story ends with the classic lines:

"I love you right up to the MOON," he said, and closed his eyes.

"Oh, that's far," said Big Nutbrown Hare. "That is very, very far."

Big Nutbrown Hare settled Little Nutbrown Hare into his bed of leaves. He leaned over and kissed him good night.

Then he lay down close by and whispered with a smile, "I love you right up to the moon - AND BACK."

Since he was 4, I have told my son each night as I tuck him, under a warm blanket, that I love him to the moon and back.
The Vintage Pearl (which has some beautiful things) has THE perfect mother's day gift for me: a personalized necklace saying I love you to the moon and back.
I don't normally covet, but this is inspiring me to covet big time. Check it out here and see if you agree with me:

http://www.thevintagepearl.com/products/iloveyoutothemoonandback_p16

Blue

My son has autism. It is because of this, that he came into our lives nearly 5 years ago.
He is verbal; that is he has functional language to communicate. Sometimes his turn of a phrase is unique, and I chalk those up to little man-isms. He is in a regular class at school, without an aide. He still has his struggles, especially when he doesn't see the purpose of an assignment. The meltdowns are fewer as he gets older, and his natural intelligence shines through.
He has friends, but his social skills lag behind that of his peers. The gap is narrowing, but instead of it being grand canyon wide, it's less of a fissure. That deficit is his primary "symptom". It also is what bullies prey on: little man wants to be friends with everyone. It makes me nervous about the teenage years looming ahead, with peer pressure, but I like to think I've grounded him with a strong sense of morals and values.
My son has autism: when he is excited or stressed out, he flaps his hands. When he's overtired or overstimulated, he has a meltdown. Imagine a toddler tantrum done by a 9 year old, that's what it is. If it happens in public, there are the stares and whispers. Just because my son has an invisible disability, don't judge.
Many years ago, we were in a different church, and he got antsy because the service was long. He wasn't the only kiddo wretching around but he was singled out and we were asked to leave.
I will never darken that church's doorway again.
Despite that, my son has a deep, abiding, sustaining faith. He loves God, and knows that God loves him. He may not receive communion but can explain the doctrine of transubstantiation better than most priests.
He truly has joy in his heart.
He makes me laugh, cry and drives me crazy sometimes. I never knew how much I could love another human being until I became a mother. And he loves me.
My son has blond hair, brown eyes, is a string bean, obsessed with hot wheels, star wars and Mario and has autism.

All You Need is Love

In Sunday School today, we had a Valentine's Day party. We talked about St.Valentine, from wikipedia:

The name Valentinus does not occur in the earliest list of Roman martyrs, compiled by the Chronographer of 354. The feast of St. Valentine was first established in 496 by Pope Gelasius I, who included Valentine among those "... whose names are justly reverenced among men, but whose acts are known only to God." As Gelasius implied, nothing was known, even then, about the lives of any of these martyrs. The Saint Valentine that appears in various martyrologies in connection with Feb 14 is described either as:

A priest in Rome,
A bishop of Interamna (modern Terni), or
A martyr in the Roman province of Africa.[10]
The first representation of Saint Valentine appeared in the Nuremberg Chronicle (1493); alongside the woodcut portrait of Valentine, the text states that he was a Roman priest martyred during the reign of Claudius II, known as Claudius Gothicus. He was arrested and imprisoned upon being caught marrying Christian couples and otherwise aiding Christians who were at the time being persecuted by Claudius in Rome. Helping Christians at this time was considered a crime. Claudius took a liking to this prisoner – until Valentinus tried to convert the Emperor – whereupon this priest was condemned to death. He was beaten with clubs and stoned; when that failed to kill him, he was beheaded outside the Flaminian Gate. Various dates are given for the martyrdom or martyrdoms: 269, 270, or 273.

But enough of that. We came to party.
During our story we read from
Paul's first letter to the Corinthians:
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

Then we got the party started. We decorated heart shaped sugar cookies. We played love tag (when you got tagged you had to say something nice about the person) and made heart shaped mosaics.

We finished it up with fresh squeezed orange juice, fruit punch and treats to take home.

I Love My Dog

My dog is not a pet. He is a valued member of the family. He is our doorbell, sensing those approaching our home. He is our protector, guarding us from vagrant dogs walking by with their owners. He is the Explorer, as we walk he shows the way, marking where we've been.
He is our therapist. Being greeted with puppy kisses and hugs when you get home can turn around even the worst day. There is nothing like a cuddle and a belly rub to let you know that you matter to at least one creature on the planet.
He is the family alarm clock. Every morning he jumps on our son's bed, kisses him and waits patiently to get a belly rub. He is up early every morning to do his business so there's no sleeping in for us. But that's ok, because it's the price you pay for unconditional love.
He served as my son's voice. Just five short years ago, Little Man had no functional language. He communicated mostly through echoalia, which is repeating words and phrases. It's pretty ingenious, but maddening at the same time. I had to watch the leap pad DVDs over and over to figure out what he meant or wanted. There's a scene in math circus where they are getting ice cream, and one of the characters says "needs salt". That was my son's phrase to tell me he was hungry. There are a lot of other examples of using movie and tv dialogue to communicate. Then one day, our son started having conversations with our dog. It was a bridge from the echoalia to conversing normally. He would talk to the puppy and then have the puppy speak to us.
It's hard to believe that we were once unable to talk with each other, but our dog made that happen.
He is our vacuum cleaner. I don't have to worry about crumbs or food on the floor because he takes care of that. He would even serve as dishwasher if I let him. He also serves as an electric blanket, since he sleeps with us and generates a lot of body heat.
He doesn't get tied up outside. He tolerated being ridden like a horse when little man was younger. He puts up with the costumes I dress him up in, and tolerates some of my crazy ideas. He's my baby doll and my cuddle bug. He is a free range backyard dog who has been well trained. He most certainly would not be left outside in bad weather and I would never treat him like luggage.
He's a valued member of my family and I love my dog.