Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Train Wreck, Part Duh

I have to preface this by stating I am a mother now, and I have certain views on parenting. Maybe its because I've waited so long to become a mom, or maybe its because I am in my mid-30's with a vast amount of experience in my life, but I hold motherhood as sacred. It has radically changed my outlook on life and the world around me. I have become more environmentally conscious. I am more concerned about politics because decisions I make at the ballot box will affect my child and child's children. I have more of a long term investment in the world. My child is the most precious thing/being/whatever noun you want to put in there in my life. More than anyone or anything and I will go to the ends of the earth to protect him. Having dealt with DSS and foster care, I am more cogniscent of varying degrees of abuse and neglect. I think nothing of chastising someone beating their child into submission in WalMart know. I've called the police and given license plate numbers of people hitting their children in public (I am not talking about a swat on the behind, I am talking closed fisted beatings). Don't cross me if you are going to do that to your little ones. I know parenting a child is very frustrating. My Little Man can be frustrating too, and with his autism, it can magnify normal bad behavior 10 fold. But I would never do that in public.
I know that my son needs to be in a car seat, the proper way, even though he is 5. He needs a booster seat because he is on the tiny side. He needs proper nutrition. His birth parents never figured that one out. They are vegans, which is fine. You can raise very healthy vegan children but you need to combine foods to make a complex protein (like rice & beans). This is kinda basic vegetarianism 101, that you can find on any website or vegetarian cookbook. But, despite birth mom claiming to be a member of Mensa, she couldn't figure this out. So, Little Man spent a lot of his life being malnourished. Also, he was plagued by chronic ear infections for his first 4 1/2 years. He had constant temper tantrums, violent earth shattering tantrums. We had ear tubes placed, he no longer has ear infections nor does he have the tantrums. Oh, and by the way his speech has improved dramatically. He used to use scripted speech-repeating things from movies or tv shows-to communicate. He would echo things he had heard (called echoalia) and use that instead of having a conversation. Now we talk. Actual conversations. We're still working on that, but he's more normal (neurotypical in autism speak) than autistic.
A lot of his behavior was based on his diet. I am not sure what he was fed before, but I know what he's eating now. He gets a lot more protein, thanks to protein powder. He gets a daily multivitamin with iron and he stopped eating paper and foam and non food things. He had pica, which is due to an iron defeciency. Its a craving for odd things, like dirt, and its very easily corrected. Since he's been getting more protein, he's been growing like a weed. He's gained weight and grew almost an inch. Best of all, his behavior has improved. Its like he was starving for so long-he had been diagnosed as failure to thrive at one point. He eats on a regular basis, and eats well.
The most important thing is we're instilling discipline in him. He has boundaries now. He likes to push them from time to time (which is normal child behavior) but he understands he has limits. We're not super strict militarlistic parents, but we do expect him to do things like wash his hands, dress himself and clean up after himself. Since he's been with us, he has become completely toilet trained, dresses himself, and cleans up at the end of the day. Things we were told he was not capable of. Hmmmm....amazing what discipline does. If I can just solve the bedtime battles we have, I'd be golden. Birth parents are Wiccan, and because of that, they feel that discipling children inhibits their spirit. Funny, some of the strictist parents I know are Wiccan.
Basically, birth mom is a patholigical liar who can't get her story straight (or spell). She claims to be a marine biologist, but never lived near the ocean or graduated from college. Must be some sort of special course. She also claims Jewish ancestory and wanted our Little Man to be raised Jewish, but he was never cirumcsized. Contradictions, contradictions. I just have to laugh when I read her emails to the foster mom. I do not want any contact with her because I am afraid that I might just have to beat her with a stick. Although that probably wouldn't knock any sense into her. What gets me frustrated is I have found out that there were people who saw that Little Man was being neglected (somewhat) and was living with a bunch of nutjobs, and didn't do anything about it.
I guess its all over know, and he's my Little Man.
The same can't be said for Britney Spears. She like birth mom was very young and in a marriage to someone with no discernable talent. She like birth mom popped out a bunch of kids in quick sucession (although birth mom, herein called bm for short) went for the trifecta. Don't these chicks know about birth control? Both Britney & bm seem kinda trashy and need attention. They write rambling emails/posts on websites justifying bad behavior. I hope bm does wear underwear though. From the pictures I've seen of her, she's not the type you'd want to see pantiless.
But Britney & bm have a lot in common. They don't know how to raise children and are not willing to go the extra mile to take care of them. Little Man is much better off with us, just like Britney's kids will do better outside of her care.

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