make a joyful noise

I am not a singer. I have never pretended to be. I like to sing with the radio in the car and in the shower. I can't carry a tune in a bucket and I really don't care. For me, its making a joyful noise and enjoying the moment. My grandmother, on the other hand, had perfect pitch and a beautiful voice but she didn't really ever sing.
Towards the end of her life, she loosened up a little bit and would occassionaly sing along with the radio or hum the jeopardy theme song.
Our church had a retreat several months before she died. She was not the retreaty type person but we convinced her to go. Believe me she was the life of the party. She had a magnetic personality and always seemed larger than life. At the retreat, one of the things we discussed was our favorite hymns. My grandmother was unchurched at best. Religion was not a big deal in her upbringing. Her father was Lutheran and her mother Catholic. She was married by a Lutheran minister. My grandfather had suffered through 12 years of Catholic school and had enough. As a consequence, my mother and aunt were not raised in a faith.
That was the way it was. But towards the end, my grandmother got somewhat churchy. Not happy clappy but content. She even had some favorite hymns-that was a big suprise to me-and she even began to hum them around the house.
After her stroke, she really could do much of anything and lost the ability to speak. That hurt her more than anything else I think. Lying in her bed, she was so desperate to make some sort of noise to let me know she was still in there.
But she couldn't
The night she died, we watched the opening night of the US Open. Agassi was playing someone-that is lost to the annals of history. We knew it was near the end. She had been in hospice for a few weeks and it was getting closer. By some miracle, as she began to slip away her voice came back, very weak but there. She told me of those who came to visit-my aunt, her mother and father, her husband, her siblings. And she asked me to sing her favorite hymns. So sing I did, in my off pitch, off key melody of all my own voice. Guide Me thou Great Jehovah. Abide with Me. By the time I got to Amazing Grace her breathing was at a death rattle. I sang her to heaven with all 4 verses.
In church on Sunday, I had a moment of personal revelation. Even though my grandmother has been gone for almost ten years, there are times when I still feel her around. I sat in my pew, tucking in place markers in the BCP and the hymnal when I made a realization. The 2 main hymns were Grama's. It was like a hug from heaven.
And boy did I ever make a joyful noise.