(Very) Early Sunday AM

For the first time in weeks I had a great night's sleep. Little Man went to bed early and I seized my opportunity. Since I never got that nap yesterday, I went to bed early myself and fell asleep almost immediately. Needless to say I got about 9 hours of slumbering bliss so I feel so much better. I will admit that sleep is a huge issue for me. I don't always get a good night's sleep on a regular basis, so I wind up with a regular sleep deficit.
I am working on resolving the sleep issues. Back in the day when I didn't just drop from exhaustion, I did a pre-bedtime ritual. I would do yoga to relax and stretch out my body. I would have my sleepy time herbal tea, and write in my prayer journal. I would pray Compline. Lay out my clothes for the next day. Tidy up the house-pick up the living room & kitchen, get things ready for the morning. Nowadays, my pre-bedtime ritual consists of putting on jammies, repositioning the big man & the puppy dog, and hoping that the puppy dog doesn't take my covers. I also am not resting well at night, meaning I wake up and fall back to sleep.
At the other end of things, due to being so tired all the time, my morning routines have somewhat fallen by the wayside. For the last few weeks, my mornings have consisted of my getting my coffee and watching Mike & Mike on ESPN2. I do my daily dozen asanas rather half heartedly and not really getting anything out of it...then I scramble to get the day going. What I did until a few weeks ago was get up, do my daily dozen, drink my coffee, journal for a little bit, go downstairs & workout. I'd run on the treadmill and then either do the bowflex or pilates. In between working out I'd swap around the laundry feed the cat & empty the litterbox. I'd swifter the floors, swish & swipe my bathrooms, feather dust the main level then get onto getting my day going. It wasn't that long ago that I was doing all that, so I am not sure where the breakdown occured.
I do know how to get things back on track. I am a compulsive planner. It helps ease my comfort level knowing what is going on in my life. I like to plan out my outfits for work (including accessories) ahead of time so I didn't have to rush around in the morning. That AM rush just sets things off negatively for the whole day for both myself and the little man. If I plan out his clothes as well, then its easier for him to get ready in the morning. If we're both getting ready stress free, then we're happy getting out of the house.
Part of things going back on track starts with getting things on track in the evening. Right now I come home from work and take a nap because I'm so dang tired. What I need to do is get changed and do some yoga. I have a massage cushion that can give me 15 minutes of relaxation before facing my evening. Due to the Big Man's work schedule, he's tired by the time I get home and he needs to get to bed by 8 the latest. I know he's definately not getting enough sleep-so I shouldn't be whining about my sleep issues. He's also taken on a lot of my responsibilities, including cooking dinner-and he's a great cook! I'm grateful he's willing to do all that. After dinner there is homework to do, baths to take and playing to be done. Not to mention trying to keep the house running...I just feel like I need to take a step back and breathe.
The other issue that I have is my eating habits. I know what I need to eat to be at my most healthiest. Right now I am not doing that. Its like I make the unhealthiest I can-especially my biggest downfall for breakfast: everything bagel, cream cheese and numerous strips of bacon (mmmm my mouth is watering). What I bring to eat for breakfast that I reject-usually oatmeal & vegetarian sausage, toast w/sugar free jelly and 1/2 a grapefruit. It is also yummy, but I guess its way too healthy for me! For a snack I'd bring yogurt with fruit with flax seeds but I'd choose a candy bar or popcorn instead. I bring crystal lite to drink but instead by a soda. Then there's lunch-healthy choice brought from home (usually a loaded baked potato or frozen dinner, salad & fruit) or...something fried from the deli in my building. So...I'm rebelling against myself. I know when I eat crap I feel like crap-garbage in, garbage out. But yet I continue to do so...and I keep telling myself that I need to get back on track, etc. It does amaze me when I write something it makes it concrete and then I can get back on track from there...so maybe this is a start.
I just need to look at my daily to do lists and tackle the most important items. What do I really need to do to get through the day? Clean the house, feed and clothe my family, spend time with my family and God, work out (not in priority order).
Where do I start? Finding an extension cord for the treadmill. Big Man "borrowed" mine for our Christmas lights. I need to find a new one so I can run in the mornings. I also need to bust out my book of common prayer. I need that rythm in my life-I like to bookend my days with morning prayer and compline. I haven't been doing that lately, but its an easy fix. I get up, I spend time in prayer and move on with my day. At the end of the day, I just reverse the process and pray Compline.
The other big thing is taking care of my body. I really need to eat healthier. I'm so tired of eating junk because I know its not what's best for me. I know if I eat healthier I feel better about myself and I have more energy. So, I need to get over myself and just eat the healthy stuff and resist temptation. (easier said than done) I know I can do it, because I've done it over and over in my life. I've probably gained and lost the same 45 pounds at least a dozen times. Each time I say this is the last time. I'm going to be healthy from now on...and then I get back on the hamster wheel.
The second big thing is just executing my plans-before bed and in the morning. I know these things work and that I just have to do it no matter how tired I am. The whole thing about being prepared (our theme for this school year, how ironic)is that I don't have to think too much. Which is less stressful-knowing what I am going to wear or standing in front of my cloest with a perplexed look on my face and being dazed and confused? What is easier-having lunches packed the night before or scrambling in the morning? Same thing with tidying up the house-if things are put away before bed, then its easier in the morning. I can just sense the chaos in my home and its effecting everyone including the puppy dog.
(or he might just be dazzled by the lights of the Christmas tree)
The third prong if you will, are taking care of meals. Its an unfair burden to lay on the Big Man to take care of meals (even though he's a great cook, probably a lot better than I am). There needs to be a better balance in our lives. I think I have to start feeding the freezer again. I need to really think about it and make sure we all eat healthy. The temptation is a struggle for me but I must resist (although I am hearing that Star Trek quote about the Borgs-resistance is futile)I am going to make a concerted effort to be healthy. Its not just for me, I'm modeling good behavior for my little man-and I want him to make healthy choices.
I was just re-reading a line I wrote-there has to be a better balance in our lives. Amen sister!