Accentuate the Positive

Or so the old song goes. I was watching Paranormal State the other night-and I need to disclose that I am a closet fan of this show, mainly for the cheesiness factor; every site is haunted by a demonic entity that needs religious intervention, etc. etc.-and something rather clicked for me. It was the first time they didn't declare a place haunted. Instead, they declared the house full of negative energy, and that the negative energy was causing problems for the family. One of the folks who's an energy expert (whatever that means) went on for a few minutes about how the laws of attraction play into life (and my ears perked up)and that if you are incredibly negative, then you attract negative energy and the more negative energy you attract, then the worse things get-its a vicious cycle.
That made me really pay attention. I have never been a poster child for positive thinking, and I believe that is genetic. I come from a long line of woe is me type of folks. Most of my family are martyrs-because that's all they know. I, on the other hand, am not comfortable in this role. I like being happy and having peace in my life. For a while now, there has been a definate disturbance in my household vibe, and it really isn't pleasant. I never thought that something as simple as bad thoughts can do this, but this is living proof. I guess when you think you can't, you're right.
Part of the issue is just thinking that things are miserable and focusing on what's wrong rather than what's right in my world. Then I start whining, and that's never attractive. I don't like it when my son whines, so why would I like it when I whine? And I've been doing so much whining lately, mostly to myself, sometimes on here, sometimes to others. I have tried so hard for years to be a positive person, but every so often old habits creep in and the poor me syndrome takes over. The worst part is a lot of the people I am surrounded by are incredibly negative-from people at work, school, church even!-and its really easy to backslide to the bad thoughts.
Basically what I need to do is whenever I think something negative from "my butt looks huge in these pants" to "I can't get this kitchen clean" to "I'm so overwhelmed" to "why does this always happen to me" is to turn that frown upside down. I have to remind myself of all the good in my life (marriage, son, family, home, food, clothes, good health, job, puppy dog and kitty cat, talent) and remember that God didn't put us on this earth to be miserable. H-e-double hockey sticks is what we make it, and if we are constantly miserable and unhappy we are living it on while we are vertical. I don't want to be this bitter, miserable person. Think of the impact that would have on my son-that his mom is constantly angry and sad and miserable. Do you think that he'd want to be around me? Or do things that I ask him to? I don't want him to go hide in his room all the time. We want a warm, fuzzy family. Me being negative is not going to achieve this goal.
I know that the whole concept of the laws of attraction means that you get back what you put out there. If you do something evil or wrong, you get that nastiness back threefold. So, if I am rude to someone I'll get it back three times as bad-might not be right away, but it will happen. You get what you give. The more negative thoughts and actions you have, the more negativity you have in your life. Its a self fulfilling prophecy. Before you think that I have gone all new-agey on it, it is Bibically sound as well.
Think about it this way, do you like to be around someone who complains and/or grumbles a lot? I know I don't. I don't even like being around myself when I am all grumbling and complaining. Its a bad habit though-its almost like one up-manship. My day was so bad! How bad was it? And then you list off the litany of things that went wrong in your world, hoping that the other person didn't have something to top you in the bad department. I am so tired of living like that. Its so energy draining and life sucking. I am almost convinced that some of my back pain is due to constant stress I inflict on myself. I am going to make a focused effort on looking for the good in the world.
Its hard, because I have slipped into this bad thoughs pattern and been there for so long. A few weeks ago, during the sermon, our minister was talking about how we are all children of God-even if they cut you off in traffic. I've been practicing that to a small extent, and it has lowered my stress level when I am driving and dealing with rude people. I have noticed that I seem to attract bad drivers and rude people in general, probably because of the energy that I put out. I need to let that go and put out happy, positive energy.
Every day my son wakes up relatively happy, and smiling. He enjoys what he does every day-there are some days that he may be cranky, but he obviously loves school, being with friends and family, and playing. If something goes wrong during his day, he shakes it off and just moves on. Mommy on the other hand, drags herself out of bed, crawls to the kitchen for her coffee fix, and slowly makes it through her day. If something goes wrong or if I say something silly or what not, I hold onto that. I dwell on it. I never remind the little man of anything that he did wrong, because that's not fair to either of us. Life is not about keeping score, he doesn't need to do anything to earn my love and respect-its a gift given unconditionally. I have to remind myself that God gives me the same gift of unconditional love. I don't have to keep score to gain that love-its there for me to accept. If I chose not to, He's not going to take it away and tell me too bad. It will be there for me to make that choice again and again and again. There isnt a time limit for accepting this gift-its always there. Its hard for me to openly accept this gift, because I keep score of what I've done wrong each day. I replay things in my head as I am saying my before prayers, and I seem to recall the bad stuff more readily than the good stuff. Its working on changing a mind set, and changing what my world view is. Little by little, baby steps. Its amazing how my son teaches me so much about living!