Sick Sick Sick

My poor little man is still dealing with strep throat and a nasty fever. To make matters worse, he had an allergic reaction to the original antibiotic, so now he's on a new one, and the fever won't go away. I am frustrated because I want him to get better, but he's not. On a positive note, he has not let being sick ruin his visit with Grammy and Aunt Karen. Its been great seeing them and having them here. I am one of those very lucky women who have a great relationship with their in laws. I truly enjoy being with them, and I do value their opinions. I figure they have a little more experience raising children and homemaking than I do, and I can learn from them.
I have to call the pediatrician today, and wash jammies for the little man. I want him to get better, and soon. He has a delayed opening at school today, but he wasnt going to go anyway since he still has a fever.
There are times when I feel like there is a dark, black cloud lingering over me. Its like a small thing-like strep-that should resolve itself fairly quickly, doesn't and it turns into something major. I almost feel like there is someone with a voodoo doll out there sticking little pins into me sometimes, because one person can't have all this junk happen by random chance. Its like someone is trying to steal my joy and take away the little happiness I have eeked out for myself. Why anyone would want to do that is beyond me, but there are some people out there that can't stand for anyone else to be happy and at peace. They love to stir up turmoil and make others as miserable as they are. Its really sad, but there are more than one or two people like that in this world. Heck, there are more than one or two people like that in my life!
I seem to attract people who are psychic vampires, maybe because they sense the "goodness" in me, and that I try to spread joy where I go. I know that there have been folks in my life that try to ruin every happy moment for me-that if its my turn to be in the spotlight that they need to steal it. That if they are not the center of attention, they will take it back no matter what it takes. I know that there are times where I feel like I need to have the martyr syndrome kick in-because I want that attention too-that I am tired of being in the background. But I am trying to distance myself from those people and limit contact with them, since its not healthy for me to be in those situations.
Its Monday, and its time to get back into gear for the week. I have laundry to do (run the little man's, then overnight tonight wash towels and sheets). Tidying up to do, the general stuff that have to be done daily. Yoga stretches to do to keep my body from rebelling. Dinners to plan (actually that part is done). My sister in law is going to make my husband's favorite meat loaf with white rice and peas. Tomorrow its going to be either Italian herb chicken with leftover pasta or taco chicken with spanish rice. Wednesday is fiesta nacho soup and quesadillas, Thursday is gingerbread waffles and fruit salad, Friday will be lasagna and garlic bread. I think I got this under control, and if I plan out next week's menus too, I can manage both my money and my time better.
I try really hard on both of those, but my inner brat (who seems to want a lot of face time) keeps trying to keep me from being successful. She seems to think that I need to be a hoarder, to be lazy, to spend lots of money unnecessarily on junk I will never use, to not enjoy my life and constantly beat myself up, to daydream and not do things that will increase the joy and love in my life. She thinks that I don't deserve to have any good in my life and since she thinks that, I am being disloyal to her if I strive for that. You would think that my inner brat would like good homecooked meals, a clean house and neat, clean clothes to wear, an exercised body fueled by health foods and water, relaxed time making memories and sharing love and joy with my family-but that's not what she wants. She likes to make misery for all, to make everyone she encounters to be as sad and depressed as she is. She builds walls around herself, and covers herself in guilt and shame and wants others to live like that too. But my inner brat really truly isnt me, and I have to love her into submission for me to lead my best life now.
So....its time to get my day going, and be functional for a new day at work. Its Monday, the weather is pretty icky out (thankfully the big man is going to drive me)and I am going to be a little more relaxed this am because I wont be stressed about driving in bad conditions.
Its a good start to the week-what will make it better is for my little man's fever to break and that the angry tonsils make peace.