I can kick butt on Mondays and Tuesdays and then it all goes to h-e-double hockey sticks by Wednesday. It seems that whatever I do in the beginning of the week falls apart by day 3...
Well here we are at day 3 and it already fell apart last night for me. I was just so tired and I almost feel like I am getting sick. I'm really tired-did I say that already?-and have not really been sleeping well either. The bottom line is I start our with great intentions and I can't seem to get the momentum to keep it going.
In the beginning of the week, I tidy up the house, do laundry, eat breakfast et. al before I leave the house...but come Wednesday there is a definate vibe change in the air and lots of extra stress.
Despite all this, I am seeing myself move closer to my goals. I am keeping up with housework to a certain extent. I am controlling my spending too-I think twice before I buy something that I don't need-which is a big deal for me. As the big man puts it, I'd just go swipey swipey and not think. Now I think first and spend later. I am also working on my eating which is a big deal too. The scary part is I really like healthy food-especially fruits and vegetables-and I could eat nothing but that stuff. And on Monday and Tuesday, I could eat them and be good. Then on Wednesday...I won't even go there. The same with exercise-I love working out. I love geting on the treadmill and my little free weights and yoga and pilates, but there's this mental block about it all. It works for a few days and then it stops. But at least its starting!
I know that I am incredibly scattered and that my mind goes a hundred miles an hour. I have been working for years to discipline my mind and focus more. Its a struggle but I have made huge progress, especially since I became a mom because I have to have tunnel vision sometimes. The big man picks on me about my lists and plans-that I need to have all this stuff written out and that I know what I am doing-and tells me to just go with the flow. I can't-when I don't write it out and have some sort of framework I get even more stressed.
I think that I'm rambling here, which is entirely possible at this time of the morning and the lack of coffee hitting my blood stream.
Cutting to the chase:
Today is Wednesday. Its 5:37 AM. I need to go downstairs and 1. put laundry in 2. feed the cat 3. empty the litter box 4. get on the treadmill. Then its off to the shower. Shower do the whole beauty thing. Clean the bathroom. Get dressed. Wake up the little man. Breakfast. Swifter the floors. Feather dust the house. Tidy up the kitchen. Spend time in prayer. Warm the car up and get the day going. Then come home and go to church with the little man. Its important for both of us-I so want him to have that foundation in his life-so I will chug coffee and all to be able to get there and stay awake. Get home and do some more homework. Tidy up again. Put some laundry up to go overnight. Lather rinse reapeat. I mean get ready for bed and get some sleep.
Its a crazy life, and its mine.
Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity. Margaret D. Nadauld
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