Playing Catch Up

Its Saturday, and another week has come to a close. I still have a ton of stuff to do this weekend-wrap the shoe boxes for the party on Wednesday, write the donation letter for pizza bingo silent auction, make up the goody bags for the party, clean the house, do laundry, and most of all-purge my closet.
I look at my closet and it doesn't make me smile any more. Same with my dresser and night stand...I am just unhappy with how its all disorganized and overflowing with stuff that I don't wear. It isn't going to take very long, but sometimes it can be a little on the painful side (why did I buy this and why am I hanging on to it?) I do have to figure out what my personal style is though, because I seem to missing out on something it seems. I have friends that look fantastic even in sweats, and I usually feel frumpy and dumpy. I don't feel put together or done up-even when I am dressed to the nines...I know what I like, and its a little on the preppy side-turtle necks and cardigans, shoe booties, scarves, and for downtime sweats and baseball hats and sneakers or flip flops. But I don't really look like that and I am not sure why. Its a bit of a disconnect between what my vision and reality is.
So today, its purge time and get rid of the stuff that is dragging me down.
The other thing that I need to purge is this attitude that is keeping me off the treadmill and working out again. I know I miss it, and that I feel like something is missing in my day-and that is working out. I love how I feel when I conquer a new level on the treadmill or am able to do something with less difficulty or more reps. I also love how with yoga I can deepen into a pose and stretch out my body. But for some reason...its not being done. I am not sure why I am not working out like I used to...for what ever reason it stopped. This is not the first time its happened before. Actually its been an ongoing issue for me. I will be all into working out going to the gym whatever and then it stops...because I just wake up one morning I just wake up and decide that for what ever reason I am not going to work out that morning and then I just stop working out. Then everything else starts to backslide, because since I am not working out, I don't eat healthy either. I know that for what ever reason I wind up punishing myself for something. Not sure what it is-I think it has to do with some sort of low self esteem and the fact that I can never live up to certain standards. There's that little negative voice nitpicking at me...and it sets me up to not live up to my potential.
But, the fact that I recognize this quirk in my personality and I can move beyond it. I have wrapped so much of me in clothes and trying to portray a certain look that its almost fear inducing to think that I am going to purge my closet today. But its all for good because I need to get this done.