welcome to the jungle

There are so many things to write about this morning and so much going on in my life, that I don't think I can cram it all in.
Last night, health care reform passed. I have extrememly mixed feelings about it. I am all for extending health care coverage to all-because it really is a right, not a privilige. Pre-existing conditions should not exclude you from coverage. Lifetime maxes should not limit care. I deal with these issues in my job every day. I deal with the fact that insurance is such a maze that folks with chronic illness need someone like me to sort things out for them and to help them understand what they owe and why. I can go on and on with reasons why coverage should be mandated. However, I also feel that most of these legislators don't get it entirely. Its not just about access to coverage-its an issue of education. Just like there are certain life skills taught in high school, health care education needs to be taught as well, where students get a basic overview of how insurance works (and learn terms like deductible, out of pocket, copay, etc).
I will not lie, I consider myself a social justice liberal. Matthew 25:34-41:
Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

41"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'

44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'

45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'
We are told in the Gospels that we are to help others, and I have always taken that quite seriously. If you look at the volunteer work that I do, it revolves around this mission. I have taken it both literally and figuratively.
This segueways into the other big change in my life. Yesterday, I was asked my the Dean of the Cathedral to be the new director of youth ministries. Of course, I said yes! I am very excited, because this is a big deal for me. Youth ministry has been a passion of mine for a very, very long time. Between teaching Sunday school and leading the youth group, I've been involved for about 20 years. Amazing! I am inheriting a program that has so much potential-and has 100% clerical support (that is the most important thing). As this evolves over the next few days, I can flesh out the details.
Speaking of fleshing out, the other big change in my life today is that I am back in one-derland. While I have just publically admitted my weight issue, I am pleased to see improvements. I attribute this big change to a few things. One is me being committed to yoga-my daily dozens in the morning, stretching throughout the day at work, after work, before bed. It also helps that I get on the treadmill most mornings and get that heart rate up. I have begun doing a very simple weight routine to help carve out muscles. There are other little changes I've begun to make-eating more healthy. Not eating as much junk. Drinking more water. Not denying myself treats (I've learned when I deny I binge. Simple as that) And the biggest change I attribute to relaxing more. I clear my head regularly. I get more sleep. I spend time in prayer. I meditate.
I still have a lot of anger issues, and I can get easily frustrated by life, but that is something that I am working on. I try not to snap on my family, but a prime example was last night. I had the beginnings of a migraine (never a good thing) and I had the aura starting. I took some migraine medicine and laid down, which limited the damage but I still felt bloody awful. For the rest of the night I was miserable and felt it. I went through the motions, but my heart and soul wasn't into it. I just wanted to lay down and let it go away. So once again I shortchanged my son out of my best. Its not fair to him, that I don't read him a bedtime story every night, and that some nights I rush through our bedtime routine because I myself am ready to collapse. I don't get a lot of stuff done before bed because I wind up being so exhausted most nights. Its more a mental exhaustion than a pure physical one, and I have to work on this. I just have this heaviness that hits me about 8 pm and doesn't go away until I finally collapse into bed.
Tonight, I am going to try something new to avoid this. We are making the baskets for Pizza Bingo tonight in the school library. I am only staying for an hour, because I need the time with my family. We have homework to do, and then there is the whole bedtime routine that I need to get back into. I need to have my sleepytime tea. I need the cuddle time with my little man. I need to get the house tidied up before bed so I am not confronted with a mess first thing in the morning. There's a lot to be done every night, and I need to work out a way to balance it all.
Tonight, come home from PTO around 7:45. Start on homework and boil water for my tea. Make tea, empty dishwasher. Tidy up kitchen. Have a chance to play with the little man after homework. Around 8:20 start putting toys away, little man starts washing up and getting ready for bed. 8:30 is bedtime, so little man gets enough sleep. I can get laundry going so we all have clothes. Get some other stuff done around the house. Do my yoga & meditate. Go to bed myself at a reasonable hour.
It takes discipline and I am working on this very hard. I have to keep focusing on the big picture and not get lost in the details.