The Middle

So far, I've been up for about 25 minutes and I am already frustrated. The laptop didn't want to boot up, and I was in a holding pattern for about 15 minutes. I wish I could say I did something productive with that time, but I didn't. I stared and muttered under my breath, all the while chugging coffee. There are a lot of things I could have done, but opted not to.
I'm just tired. I mean TIRED with a capital T. Add to it, I'm not exercising as much as I could, should or would. For some reason or another, just the thought of it right now is causing me to have some mental issues-even though it is so good for me. And I am tired of eating poorly, because its not helping me out at all. What is worse than that is I am now craving junk-not a reassuring sign.
But I can turn it all around too. It will be a challenge, but I am up to it.
Its Thursday, and I have a somewhat busy day ahead of me. I have my life coaching session this morning. We were supposed to visit on Tuesday, but my life coach was sick. I need to come up with some strategies to work on these mental blocks that limit my potential.
And work on some ideas for getting back on track with exercise. Its that first step that is the hardest.
Actually, what has made it harder is the fact that I don't think I've completely gotten over my bout with strep throat from a month ago. Add to it the worst pollen counts in years, and allergies affecting me and I'm a little bit of a disaster on two legs. Yes I am being a bit whiny about it all. I just want to feel at least normal again. I know that one of the little man's friend's moms that it took her about 6 weeks to get over strep. Not exactly a warm fuzzy feeling for me.
I am almost done with the job jar and ready to unveil it. I am a little nervous about putting this into use, but we have to. Its important that we get back on track with things. Honestly, I feel like I've lost control over everything since school got out. The craziness for the last few weeks has been getting used to summer-and now I need to have things settle down or mommy is going to blow a gasket.
I need to take a deep breath, and settle into some sort of routine.
I know that there are different things that I can do that will help me find some middle ground in my life. I need to find a way to get the energy to do housework (if I exercise, eat right and drink lots of water it helps-and I need to work on the mental clutter too)and be present in the moment, it will help. The next thing I need to do is refocus my energies on what's positive in my life. I am so tired of drama enveloping me, and getting caught up in other people's lives. It exhausts me to the nth degree. Its draining to feel responsible for other people's issues-and trying to fix all their problems. I can't. I need to focus on my own-I can pray for them, and be a (distant) cheerleader for them. But I can't be involved in the day to day drama. I am tired of it consuming my energy, my thoughts and my life. Plus, its not fair to my family. They need me to be present, not mentally off solving someone else's issues.
There is the high road, the low road and the middle. Today, I choose the middle path.