Daydream Believer

Last night before bed, I took melatonin and did some gentle yoga stretches. I didn’t exactly fall asleep right away, but this morning I did wake up feeling refreshed and (even better yet) pain free! It was like I had slept for 12 hours, and I actually went to bed later than I had all week. There is something to be said for that melatonin/yoga/relaxation response. Imagine what is going to happen when add the lavender oil tonight, rubbing it on my feet-its something with reflexology or something.



On another positive note, I made the decision after I wolfed down a ton of KFC last night for dinner. I paid the price since-believe me. Talk about a food hangover this morning! So, now that I am in a brand new demographic category, I need to think about what is best for me and my body. Fast food, processed food and all the junk I’ve been eating lately isn’t worth the price I am paying. So, today I’ve begun the detox process. For breakfast I had a blueberry bagel with peanut butter and jelly. For the morning snack I am noshing on strawberry yogurt with 1 c each of blueberries and strawberries. I brought a healthy lunch as well, and I need to eat something healthy for dinner as well.



Next week will be the real test for me. Its not that I can’t occasionally eat junk, but when that is where 75% of my meals are coming from-its no longer fun. I can’t let others lead me down the path where its ok to eat it as well. I need to be strong and firm in my desire to lead my best life, and in my best health. If others don’t support those decisions, that’s their issue. Not mine. I am still young enough that if I make these changes now, I can reclaim my great health. I am tired of being the fat girl, and I am definitely tired of being tired all the time. I can just imagine how clogged my arteries are from eating stuff that is so bad for me.



So now I need to have a radical makeover. Gone are the gut buster breakfasts of bagel, cream cheese sausage AND bacon. Gone are the sodas (unless its one of my homemade ones of club soda and fruit juice or crystal lite). Gone are the super nachos, the meatball subs, chicken tenders and onion rings and all that grease laden stuff. And gone are the runs through the drive-thru.



I need to take care of myself for me, and me alone. Knowing that I am healthy is a good example for my son as well. I need to exercise because its:

1. good for me mentally

2. good for my body physically

3. its fun

I admit that I love to glisten, and I love how I feel when I can add more weight or more reps or can get deeper into a pose or some other bit of improvement in my workout life. Its like a huge victory for me because I conquered another demon.



I need to eat healthy because:

1. I want to live a long life. I want to see my son grow up, get married and have his own babies. I want to grow old with the Big Man

2. I want to be able to do things NOW with my family. I want to ride bikes and run around the yard and all that, and I can’t because I’ve chosen a different path. I’ve chosen to be a slug, eat slug food and let my arteries clog, and who knows what else

3. I want to be my best, look my best and feel my best. Can I run a marathon if I am eating chips and dip or being best friends with Ben & Jerry again? Don’t think so!



And the most important thing for me is…I need to get it all together because:

I am tired of living the way that I am living. I’m tired of having a half finished life. I am tired of not having any closure on anything.
I am tired of having a messy house, and hold my breath that no one just “drops by” because I would be humiliated.
I am tired of not having it together enough to plan a menu, do the grocery shopping for it, cook it and eat it. I am so jealous of my friends (real and on-line) who seem to have it together enough to do that.
I am tired of watching my son grow up in front of me, and us never doing anything. I am sick of feeling trapped all the time.




So where does that leave me know? I will admit that I am currently in a reflective, nesting type mode. I am tired of all this BS in my world, the excuses I create and all the other sundry items.



Today is a brand new day, and I need to make it a good one.



I have 3 days to free my body of crap, and I will do it. I am not going to listen to all those who are not completely supportive of my endeavor either.