Romans 12:12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
I was privileged to spend a weekend with teens from across southeastern South Dakota for the annual youth convention. In addition to spirituality, there were mini discussions on life. Its been twenty years since I became a full fledged adult and left the confines of academia. Over that time, I have had a variety of careers, addresses, relationships both platonic and romantic, had both dreams come true and be dashed to bits. In other words, I have lived a wondrous life, and that’s something I plan on doing for many years to come.
On the inside, I am still a caring, compassionate person who tries to find the good in others. I love whole heartedly and at 150%. Its not something that I take lightly, nor should anyone. I think because my life has been tempered with both bitter and sweet, I am more aware of the beautiful moments and treasure them. I don’t like them to end, and sometimes I hold on too long to them. There are times when they need to be set free, to share joy and peace throughout the universe, not just in my life. I am fiercely protective of who and what I love the most in my life. That’s just what makes me who I am, both good and bad. The people I have known and the places I have lived and things I have done have made me, well, me.
I am still the same person I was in college: desperately wanting to love and be loved-an incurable romantic. I still listen to a lot of the same music, still laugh myself silly at the same movies and love the same poetry and books. Many of the hobbies that I had in college have continued-hiking, mountain biking, scrap booking and photography, art, crocheting, cooking/baking. My faith has remained on a trajectory that started back then, and while I no longer am pursuing an ordination track, I am still serving in ministry. Family is still of paramount importance. I still want to be that wife that other husbands wish they came home to, with the apron on, a hot meal on the stove and a clean house. I want to be the neighborhood mom still, the house where everyone wants to come play and hang out. I long for romantic walks, dancing in the rain and laughter. I want a candlelight picnic in the backyard and have parties for no reason. I want my dreams, hopes, and desires to matter and for me to be heard. I want to still be pretty in the eyes of who matter, no matter what I really look like. I want to be loved unconditionally.
As you grow up, there are so many twists and turns that you encounter on the path of life. Having a consistent set of values and using faith as a framework allows you to continue on your journey, and not stray too far off the path. Are there mistakes I’ve made? Sure-because I am human. I am falliable (only G-d is perfect and infalliable). Do I regret anything? No, because everything-both good and bad-has made me who I am today.
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