It's Friday morning, early, but not that early because I hit the snooze button numerous times. Again, I chose sleep over working out, which is a conflict of my goals to follow my bliss. My body is telling me to work out AND to sleep.
I admit that I'm desperate to eat healthy and my body craves it, yet I find myself mindlessly eating junk. I snapped out it standing in front of the pantry eating potato chips out of the bag the other night.
I'm just over six weeks post op, and honestly, I'm still hurting. Not the intense surgical pain. This is just above being constant and annoying. It hurts if I bend over or twist a certain way. If I walk too much it hurts and I'm exhausted. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night because I've twisted or rolled unto my belly. As a result, I'm reluctant to move more.
I want to continue at my breackneck speed because that's just how I am. I have housework to do: the regular weekly cleaning, have some stuff to do to finish putting christmas away, and possibly do something with the guest room. We have swimming lessons, and it would be great to show up to world yoga day since id like to teach at the studio sponsoring it. Sunday I have church then the little man & I are volunteering with Samaritan's Feet to distribute shoes. In between I have grocery shopping to do for both my family and my cooking class on Tuesday night plus snacks for Sunday School. My son mentioned going bowling too, but honestly I don't know if I can because of everything else.
Next week I have a planning meeting monday night, teach Tuesday night, church wednesday, the cupcake girls night out and the Lovay Smith & the Red Hot Skillet Lickers concert friday, which bring us into next weekend with more of a whirlwind.
To keep up with this pace, it's so important for me to be eating healthy, exercising and staying organized. However right now I'm feeling fat, frumpy and like some sort of borderline hoarder. Im of course, none of the above, but that's where I am right now.
It all goes back to sleeping, eating and exercising, as well as how I see myself. I know deep down inside I'm incredibly successful and capable of lots. But I see myself as just the opposite. The negative self talk started over the holidays and hasnt stopped.
Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity. Margaret D. Nadauld
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