Sixteen Candles

Dear 16 year old me: I am so sorry that you feel the way you do right now. Its ok, because things do work out in the end.

The first thing I would tell you is to stand firm in your faith. You know yourself best, don’t be persuaded by peer pressure. If you want to be a hair dresser or a writer or a wife and mom, that’s ok. Its also ok to be what you grow up to be too, but don’t cave into peer pressure. Be firm with your beliefs. When you are questioned, don’t waver. Be strong.

The next thing I would do is give you a great big hug.

A lot of your sadness over the years could be prevented by just accepting that you are an incredibly wonderful, loving, kind, compassionate person. Don’t let anyone take that away from you. Some people are just like that and they will never accept how wonderful you are. You shouldn’t waste your energy on the 1 who doesn’t care, when there are 99 others who love you for you. You are smart, talented, beautiful-please don’t listen to others when they tell you that you are not. You are the most unique creature on the planet, so you can never, ever EVER be like so and so-and they can never be like you, either. Relish that uniqueness. Embrace your quirks. Flaunt your fierceness.

One of the most important lessons is to not let shame overrun your life. You have not done anything to be ashamed of. You have lived your life and explored your world and made mistakes. Congratulations, you are human. Don’t listen to those who tell you things to kill your spirit. They aren’t worth your time or energy. A mistake is a learning experience. Mistakes help you grow, and growth is essential to living.

Don’t just think that you are not worthy of love. One day you will meet Prince Charming, and he will rock your world. Listen to your heart, not the words of others who don’t live your life. Don’t put your dreams aside because someone else doesn’t believe in them. Believe in yourself.

And time for another hug.

Yes, you do have every right to be angry. You deserve a chance to vent that anger and let it go. Its ok to be angry. Please don’t think that when bad things happen, they are your fault because they are not. You really are a rock star already, just keep believing in yourself and you will go places. And its ok to cry too, both when you are sad and when you are happy. And laugh all the time. Don’t be ashamed of your laugh either, because it’s a pure one-full of joy.

Embrace your body. Learn to listen to cues. Stop equating self worth to a number on a scale. You have more value than what clothing size you wear. Eat foods that are going to fuel your body and give you the most optimum health. Kick the soda habit now and never start smoking. Be active. Don’t make time for people who judge you on your appearance. Stop starving and purging. Calorie restrictions will only make you miserable.

One day you will realize how truly awesome you are, and when it happens you will get another big hug from the grown up you.