Dear Oprah

Dear Oprah,

I'm so glad you found weight watchers. I know it's worked for a lot of people. Some I know have faithfully followed it for decades. 

I am not one of those people.

I am, however, one of those overweight women you are speaking of in your commercial. In your ad, you claim to speak for me, that "inside every overweight woman is a woman she knows she can be". It's a little presumptuous that you're speaking for me, but you're peddling a product, so I'll let that go. 

I know exactly who I am, and none of that revolves around my weight. I'm not making excuses-I know exactly how I gained the weight. I know that for years instead of speaking my mind, I stuffed my feelings. Instead of hungering for other things, I ate. I ate out of boredom, pain and most of all, loneliness. I ate to alleviate the hurt and disappointment and stress. 

My weight problem isn't solved by counting points, calories or brightly colored containers. It's a heart and soul problem. It's an issue with me finding my voice and speaking my mind and soul. It's an issue of me realizing the same old thing isn't working anymore. It's me making changes to my life, not my plate. 

My weight problem won't be resolved by 30 minutes of movement daily. It will be resolved by journaling my feelings, by going deep into the Word, by finding my tribe and hitting the floor on my knees. It will be resolved by letting go of people, places and things that no longer serve me. It will be resolved by me taking time for me, each and every day. 

My weight problem really isn't a weight problem. It's a sign that my coping mechanisms aren't working and I need to change things.  I'm not sure what it's going to be, but I'll find something better to help me achieve my healthy living goals. 

See Oprah, I don't really care what the scale says. All that shows is my relationship with gravity. I care about my blood pressure, my cholesterol and my blood sugar. I care about staying hydrated-not because it takes away hunger or whatever the meme says-but because I feel better when I'm hydrated. I like eating fruits and vegetables, not because I have a daily goal, but because I like them and I'm trying to model good behavior for my son. 

Like you Oprah, I've done most of the diet programs out there. I've lost and gained the same 75 lbs over and over again. None of them work for me, because they don't address my real issue. 

This year, I'm choosing to make hospitality my one little word of the year. Part of that is being hospitable to myself. That includes loving myself enough to walk away and speak up when I need to. As I fill that empty space in my soul, I won't need food to. It's simple as that.

I wish you well on your journey.