Well, I actually have felt better than I have in a long time. Maybe it was the venting. Or maybe something clicked in me...whatever the case, I feel GREAT today. Slept really well last night. Cooked some stuff this morning. I actually was excited about cooking for the first time in a long time. Went for a run with the dog too. Normally Sonny twirls when I run with him, so I don't normally. But today he was so into it. I miss going for long walks with him. We used to go 3, 4 times a week. Now if I get him out every 2 weeks its a lot. That's been part of my problem too, adjusting to the new life. Its been hard, but I am finding glimmers of me every day now.
I've decided that I want to start writing again. I mean seriously writing again. I mean being into writing, and as a natural parallel, art. I always fancied myself a writer and artist, and I lost that part of me a while back. Its not just the whole mommy thing-this transformation happened a while ago. I think it was moving from singleton to couplehood. I was my sense of self. Its a shame too because I've been acting so miserable lately and its only myself to blame.
I try to be everthing to everyone, to quote Everclear, but I don't quite suceed at it.
Watching the Mets play, hoping for an update on the Jets vs. Pats, and looking forward to football tonight. Yay! Giants vs. Cowboys. I've been a lifelong Jets fan, but I also had a major crush on Troy Aikman for a long time. There was just something about him that did it for me. I usually crushed on a different type of guy-Henry Rollins for one, the drummer from Anthrax, Art Aleksasis from Everclear (see a pattern emerging). Troy Aikman is like a guy you could bring home to mom.
Little man is very cranky. I've seen a turn for the worse in his behavior since he went back to school last week. He's just surly and disobedient. At daycare on Friday, he wasn't listening and hitting other kids. Its like a switch turned in his head and he's just a little brat. I don't like this attitude disruption. We were doing so well too. He was just way cute and becoming quite the budding conversationalist.
Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity. Margaret D. Nadauld
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