Monday, September 10, 2007

Wisconsin Onward

I worked out again this morning. 30 minutes of uninterrupted bliss on the treadmill. I feel so strong, so powerful when I do that. I listen to music, very carefully chosen, on my MP3 player. There's a set pattern to it, a layer of comfort and bliss, all caliberated to increase my cardio output. I didn't bother to blow out my hair this morning. Its damp and humid here, which makes it go curly, so I scrunched it and let it air dry. When we go to karate tonight, it will be up anyway. Our social worker is coming for our monthly home visit shortly. Matters of formality I suppose. I think I am doing a good job with our son, and I hope she agrees. I am very insecure. Its not having that final closure that is killing me. I guess its the writer in me that likes beginnings, middles and ends. I don't like having things open ended and undone, which is rather suprising if you look around my house. Its clean in terms of dirt and dust, but messy. I try very hard to keep it up, but I have my own personal almost 5 year old hurricane that comes through several times a day.
I feel like I am getting a handle on things. I felt a pleasant pop in my back when I was working out before, like I released tension. I didn't sleep as well last night. I had a dream about moving to Wisconsin, of all places. I was in an apartment with my mother and grandmother, directing the move. I asked if everything was packed for the movers, told yes, and turned around to see several curio cabinets filled with amber glassware and various knick knacks, none of which actually exist in my family. Very odd and very curious. I dreamt that we went to a supermarket too to buy food for this move, and then I woke up from the dream. It left me with an unsettled feeling, and I am almost compelled to see what this dream means.
To dream that you are moving away, signifies your desire or need for change. It may also mean an end to a situation or relationship and your are moving on. Alternatively, it indicates your determination and issues regarding dependence/independence
To see your mother in your dream, represents the nurturing aspect of your own character. Mothers offer shelter, comfort, life, guidance and protection. Some people may have problems freeing themselves from their mothers and are thus seeking their own individuality and development.
To dream that you are having a conversation with your mother, denotes a matter that has preoccupied your mind and you are not sure how to deal with it in your waking life. It indicates unresolved problems that still need to be worked out with your mother.
To dream that you are packing, signifies big changes ahead for you. You are putting past issues and/or relationships to rest and behind you. Alternatively, it represents the burdens that you carry.
To dream that you are packing, unpacking and packing and unpacking again, represents chaos in your life. You are having trouble juggling various components of your life. You are carrying around too many burdens but have trouble letting go some of these burdens. Consider what unfinished business you have to tend to. Try to resolve these issues so they can finally be put to rest.
To see your grandmother in your dream, represents nurturance, protection, and unconditional love. Consider the qualities and characteristics that exist in your own grandmother
To see glass in your dream, symbolizes passivity or protection. You may be putting up an invisible barrier around you in order to protect yourself in a situation or relationship. To dream that you are drinking from a glass, is an omen of good luck.
Wine Glass
To see a wine glass in your dream, represents happiness. It may also be symbolic of a pregnancy. If you break the wine glass, then it may denote a miscarriage
To see amber in your dream, indicates something in your life that is rigid and inflexible. Something in your life that was once lively, has now ceased to exist. Or that something in your past will prove to be extremely important to your future. Alternatively, it represents an outdated way of thinking or old ideas other words, I am quite messed up in my subconsious mind. Actually, this all makes sense to me, because I have been wrestling with a lot of things lately. I've been dealing with massive changes in my life. I've had barriers around me for so long and I so long to change how I feel about things. I desire happiness, and I am upset about the lack of joy I've been dealing with for so long. So, I guess this dream does make perfect sense, other than Wisconsin.

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