Onward & Upward

Its Friday, and I am staring ahead at a busy weekend. Tomorrow I have to go grocery shopping & buy a birthday present for the party the Little Man is going to at 1 pm. Then I am going to usher tomorrow night for the James Cotton concert from the Sioux Falls Jazz & Blues Society which is going to be very cool. Sunday morning is church, then I have my St. Monnica Guild meeting with the election of officers, and I think I have Sunday afternoon free. I also have a house to clean, candy to make for a Valentine's party in the little man's class,PTO minutes to type,laundry to do, meals to prep for next week, carpets to shampoo, some deep cleaning to do (this week its the bedrooms), and feed the freezer with lasagna, baked ziti, manicotti & stuffed shells.
For about 2 or 3 years, I "fed the freezer" on a weekly basis. It meant that we always had something for dinner (provided I remembered to defrost it)and really did cut back on my grocery bill. Every week there was a theme-week one is chicken, week 2 is pasta, week 3 is ground turkey/beef, week 4 is breakfast/brunches. Sometimes I precook the food and then freeze it, sometimes its just marinated and frozen. To add to it, a lot of times I'd make up cookie dough and either freeze baked or freeze the dough. Its just another way for me to keep my head on straight.
I've had a lot of issues with keeping my head on straight for the last few years. I'll be the first to admit it, I've been out of sorts in many areas and my life and family has suffered. Once upon a time, I used to remember birthdays and sent out homemade cards and presents, I was up to date on my scrapbooking, my house was clean, my laundry was always caught up, my freezer was full, I worked out every day, and I was in good shape. But then parenthood came along and I've been frazzled ever since.
I am not complaining because I love every moment (both good and bad)of motherhood. Its just that there are days where I wish that everything can gel together and I can feel like I am in control. Its the control thing that I struggle with more than anything else. I want so desperately to be in control of things, and I just have a hard time. I want to feel like I am in control over my house, and have a sense of confidence in that, but I don't really. Its always two steps foward and three back. For most of the week, I had kept up with house work, but I took last night "off" (had a really hard day at work and was dealing with the death of a long time client and I was in a pretty bad place) to just recuperate. However, when I shuffled into the kitchen this morning for my coffee, I was saddened to see the mess all around. I know that I am going to have to do double duty to make up for not folding the laundry & putting it away, tidying up the kitchen, etc. etc. etc.
But today is a fresh start and I can just pick myself up, dust myself off and start again.
I did plan out meals for next week, and I really plan on sticking to the meal plans because I am trying to maximize my grocery budget and get the biggest nutritional bang for my buck. Its planning ahead, and knowing what I am going to do. I have to get the rest of the family on board with this, and that also is a bit of a challenge. The Big Man is a little more relaxed and not as into structure and lists and planning as I am. I think the best term is free wheeling...and I am a classic type A personality. Its a classic case of opposites attract. And its all good, but I like to have at least an outline or framework for what I am doing each day (and then break it down some more)I like to know in the morning what I am having for dinner, because then I can plan my other meals and snacks around that (if I know I am going to have something rich and heavy, like lasagna, then I'd eat lighter stuff during the day). I like knowing what I'm doing because it helps me stay organized and on track. I can be very easily distracted too. If I don't have a plan, then I start to lose it. It's just how I roll...