This is the first time since I was 14 that I am cat-less. I have had a feline companion for the last 25, almost 26 years. We had to put our cat Buddy (a grand old lady of 17)to sleep yesterday. Our vet-brutally honest as she was-told us that there wasn't any hope for her. We did the humane, compassionate thing and had her euthanized. Its hard starting the new reality today, not seeing her at the top of the stairs when I got up. Its going to be even harder going downstairs and not seeing her.
I have to redo my morning routine and I am not going to lie, its going to be very hard. For years, I fed her in the morning when I went downstairs. I emptied the litterbox. I would pet her in the hallway by the laundry room and give her a belly rub. As the big man put it no need to open the blinds down there anymore-it was for her to look outside.
We rescued her from kitty death row 16 years and one month ago. She reached her little paw through the cage at the Burlington County Animal Shelter. It was also the first time I had ever been to Walmart, and it was there we got her pet supplies. It was exciting because the Big Man & I were going to be pet parents. It was the first time I would be a pet mommy and it was very exciting.
There were a lot of ups and downs over the last 16 years, but the one constant was Buddy. She was always there for us, with us. We moved cross country with her crying for 1300 miles in the backseat, in her little carrier. She survived break ups and make ups. She was the reason that I knew the Big Man would make a great father someday. At times, I think it was our shared love for her that held us together when dating was a little hard.
Its been a hard weekend for pets in our house. First the massive fish die-off, then Buddy. The puppy dog must be very nervous.
But, Big Man got the fish tank water tested and we are starting over with guppies today. He and the Little Man are going after school to get some new ones. Me, I think I will remain cat-less for a little while. I need to readjust a little. I think I am still sad over the death of Velvet, my cat that we had to put down 6 years ago. Its that unconditional love that you get from your pets, and how you go through hoops to get it with a cat. Buddy from the start was a lover.
There are a great deal of Buddy stories we have, and maybe one day I will share. But not right now. The wound is too fresh and painful.
It is back to the new reality today. I will work out, throw some laundry up to wash, tidy up the house and prep dinner. Little Man and I will go to school and work respectively. I have PTO tonight, and then I need to get some PTO related stuff done (type up meeting minutes, etc.) plus homework with the little dude. It just seems like there is so much going on in my world, and time management needs to be better I think.
This week is a little dicey in terms of stuff going on. PTO tonight, Cherub choir tomorrow, field trip for the little man Thursday, eye doctor for me Saturday morning. (positive-new glasses for me!)quiet day at church Saturday. I also plan on doing my deep kitchen cleaning Saturday-which means rearranging kitchen cabinets, and all that.
I think being busy will help with the grief, and distract me. I think it will also allow me to move on, in inches over the next few days.
Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity. Margaret D. Nadauld
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