master & servant

...another mid-80's gem from Depeche Mode, and I really need to load their greatest hits onto my ipod.
Its Saturday, and I really have nothing planned for today. Its a nice feeling. Little man needs a new bike-he's really outgrown the one he has (growing up very fast). We have young naturalists, but if he doesn't want to go I am not going to force him. I also need to get a long workout in (the race is only a few weeks away!)and I also need to try pilates again, since my stomach has fully recovered from Tuesday.
I have to admit that there are days when I feel like I am going around wearing a fat suit and I am trying to convince myself and everyone around me that I really am skinny. Part of it is Humpy makes me look huge, and I know that I am not. I am overweight, but not as much as I look. I have curves, and because of that I am never going to look "thin". I love my curves, as does the big man, so that's all that should matter.
I don't want to do all of this just to lose weight or whatever. I know that in my family history there are some not so very nice medical issues such as high blood pressure, degenerative arthritis and diabetes. I do not want that to happen, and as I am heading into my 40's soon (less than 30 days away)I want to set up some healthy habits. Its a struggle, but I am making progress. Part of my issue is I have such a major sweet tooth, and I need to find something to take the place of my 3 pm sugar fix. The other issue I have is I am not physically hungry but I wind up eating all day long at work. Its getting a little ridiculous because that's extra weight that I am gaining for no reason.
I want to be able to keep up with my son, and be able to ride bikes with him and run around with him and just generally have fun. Its hard for me to keep up with him some days. I am just unable to run around like I desperately want to, and it breaks my heart. The other part is my endurance isn't always there (mainly because I am not fueling myself with junk and not exercising). Its hard keeping up with a 7 year old sometimes.
Today we are going to get a big boy bike. My goal is in the next month to be able to ride bikes around the neighborhood with him. I know I can do it, it just might take a little bit for me to have the endurance. Its a quarter mile around the block, so its do-able. I remember not that long ago a three mile walk with the puppy dog was a regular occurance, but all that stopped in its tracks a few years ago. Its a matter of making time. I enjoyed those walks, but life has gotten in the way. I use it as an excuse, just like the fact that the big man is tired all the time as an excuse to not do things. I can find an excuse to not do things quite easily.
But if I want to keep up with an active kiddo, I need to stop using excuses. I need to eat healthy. I need to exercise. I need to drink water. I need to get enough sleep. Its not hard, but it takes thought and planning. I am very good at planning, its the execution part I struggle with.
I did have great success this week with the cleaning a room a day method, and I think that made a difference. I don't have to waste my Saturday cleaning. We can go buy a new bike and run a few errands. We can relax today and not be stressed out. There's a little laundry that needs to be done, but other than that we are in good shape. I don't have to go grocery shopping. I don't have a million things to do, crammed into one day. Instead, I can just spend time with my family and enjoy life.
That's awesome-its something I've dreamed about for a long time-to be at this place. To be able to do things and not be stressed out all the time. To not feel like my weekend is wasted with stuff to do, and then rebelling against it (and not accomplishing anything, because I was steaming that it all had to get done on a Saturday).
Its a rainy Saturday, so we won't be able to ride bikes today, but that's ok. It'll just be fun getting it. He's growing up so fast, and I want to savor every moment with him.