People Are People

Depeche Mode, 1985=ish
Little Man got a new bike yesterday. After much shopping, comparing and all, we found the perfect bike for him. It was another big stepping stone to growing up. He went from a little kids bike to a big boys one in one fell swoop. He & I did ride our bikes (his old one) around the block yesterday. It was fun, but I couldn't believe how out of shape I was-my thighs were on fire! And that was just going around the block, but I am willing to deal with the pain for my little guy.
We went to Target yesterday, and I picked up a bunch of Method cleaning products. They have a spray for countertops that make my kitchen really shine (plus it does a great job on the tile top tables in the living room)called Daily Granite. For whatever reason, I haven't bought it in a while, and I've missed the shine in my kitchen. There also is a tub & tile cleaner that I just love the smell of, and it really does a nice job cleaning my bathroom. Had to get furniture polish too, and I chose the wipes. Makes it easy and little man can help out too. Even the big man! I also wound up with a lot of junk-ish type food (tons of capri sun and cookies) but it works being the neighborhood hang out-I do wind up feeding the kids too. The bargain of bargains though happened to be chicken thighs on sale in Walmart. They were marked down to $3.84 a package, and we can get about 2 meals out of each package so I got enough chicken for 20 meals. Sweet! I just have to wrap them up in freezer paper and bags and put them downstairs. This is another chapter in feeding the freezer and being prepared.
I also got the little man a 2nd grade workbook in our travels yesterday. I guess because I am an overachiever and I want him to be as well. Actually, its about developing good study habits. The policy is 10 minutes of homework per grade level every night, so for second grade he will have about 20 minutes every night. I want him to feel confident in doing his school work as well as feel like he's learning something. Even though it will be summer soon, the learning doesn't stop. There are some issues with this, because I don't think that the big man is on the same page as I am regarding doing some work even in the summer. He's more let the kid be a kid (which I totally agree with as well)but I want him to do well too. Academically the playing field is wide open. It is also good training for him as time goes on. In addition, at some point in time, want to get What Your Second Grader Needs to Know. Its a great series of books, and it helps reinforce the skills he will be learning next year.
For a while, we would do a little craft project while dinner was cooking, but I have decided a nap was more appropriate for me, but I would really like to get back to that. It was great bonding time for us, and he got to do some fun stuff. Little man is very creative and extremely talented and that is something that I want to capitalize on as well. Its this whole discipline thing again. I need to reinforce the discipline in a positive manner-get used to having to do some work for about an hour a day (craft project + homework). There's plenty of time to play in there too, which is equally important. And we are trying to find a sport for the summer for him to try and excel at. He wants to try tumbling, so we are going to look into that. I also want him to do swimming, and the parks & rec department offers swimming lessons for $20-you can't beat that! I am also thinking tennis, which will help with hand eye coordination. Once again, through parks & rec, very reasonable cost. It will be a busy summer, but busy keeps us all out of trouble.
Speaking of a busy summer, I know that I need to keep myself busy too. I tend to get bored easily. That gets me into trouble. But I've got my own plan to keep myself busy too. I've been working to keep up with my scrapping, which is one of my passions. I try to do 15 minutes at lunchtime everyday, but somedays I am more successful than others. Actually I seem to a major FAIL with this some weeks. I either forget paper, or adhesive or pictures. Its like there's a mental block to it all. I want to do it, but sometimes I think that because I am not doing my pages like out of Creating Keepsakes magazine, that I am not doing a good job (silly, I know). I just have to sit down and do it, and I think going to the crop next week will help kick start some of it for me. I need that to get my head together and get some stuff done. I also need to get the album done for the little man's teacher.
Speaking of teachers, I am going to be running in the Race Against Breast Cancer on his teacher's team. I hope they aren't planning on winning any awards for running! I have to send a t-shirt in because his teacher is making team shirts for us. Very cool. I really have to get serious about training for this too. Once again, there's this matter of discipline. Its just that I have some sort of mental block on it-I know its good for me, but I just can't seem to get it done. I don't know if I am afraid of success and that's why I am sabotaging myself (that is highly likely). There is just this sad element of mean girls talk in my head. You know that negative self talk that says that you shouldn't even bother to try because you won't be any good at it anyway. Its sad to admit that this goes on in my head when I am attempting to make some sort of breakthrough in my life. This is my next attempt to break through to the next level for me.
Basically, I just want to finish the race without collapsing. Big Man asked if I was planning on having a heart attack if I ran. Nothing says confidence booster like that! Actually, I've heard that from a lot of other people-its like there are some folks that think I am going to fail miserably. It is rather discouraging. But I am not going to let it get me down or count me out. Plus there's this huge element of up yours when I succeed. I know mentally what I need to do to be successful at this race-I need to train harder on the treadmill, I need to work on building muscle both through (light) weight lifting and pilates and I need to stretch out by doing yoga. Period. Full stop. End of story. Its not an option any more. I just need to do it. Do I want to be exhausted from riding my bike around the block with the little man or playing church softball? That would be a big fat negative, thank you very much. I need to have laser sharp focus on my success for the next few weeks. (and going forward from there)
What I don't get is why I attract all these nay-sayers-both for me and my little man. Its just there are so many folks that like to say what can't be done rather than the endless possibilities of what can be accomplished. It frustrates me because I so rarely hear any cheerleading (You can do this/yes you can/better than anyone else can)about anything. But once again, I need to rise above. I think its just there are people in this world that are in my life to force me to rise above all the negativity. I guess this is around to make me stronger. It works the same for the little man-he faces so many challenges ona daily basis and yet rises above it all. I need to learn from him to not let negativity get me down. To perservere. To laugh at the limits people place on life. To be strong and resilient. To take it to the next level and do it with grace and power. To live without regrets.
My son teaches me so much on a daily basis, but sometimes I am not a willing student. I don't always want to listen to what he has to say. And I am not also willing to be a part of his world, that I don't always come to his level and engage, and I don't want that to be part of his childhood memories. I do need to be more open and responsive to him-be willing to break down the barriers I erect and get down on the floor and play cars or what-not. To not be so wrapped up in my own life that I forget about him. Its a delicate tight rope act. I need to balance my needs, my son's needs and my husband's needs and keep on walking. I think the secret is to not look down and just look straight ahead.