Permemance in Change

Listening to WFNX on my black berry yesterday, I heard a long forgotten favorite band. The Alarm & U2 are from the same era, and both had a bit of a political subtext, and both were really awesome bands. However, U2 went onto sell millions of albums and play sold out arenas, the Alarm faded into obscurity. They were being played on leftover lunch for heck's sake.
Its Good Friday, and I took the day off. I have some housecleaning to do, then I am going to dye eggs with the little man. And I have to go food shopping, and I want to tackle the art studio. I devised a plan to get things organized using plastic shoeboxes. I am sure the big man has heard this song & dance before, but I did manage to organize the linen closet and the pantry-and keep them organized and tidy! So, this is my next project to get this where I can easily find things, and it doesn't look like a crap pile. It makes me less likely to go in there and do things, which is enjoyable for me, and starts that nasty cycle of I never get to have any fun.
The bottom line is, I have been working really hard to stay on top of things and trying to keep up with the house, laundry, etc. I did see a lot of breakdown this week, and I think it had to do with a combination of being overscheduled and the big man going to work @ 1 am all week. This little change of schedule causes a huge ripple effect for all of us. Daddy is exhausted because he's not getting enough sleep and busting his butt at work. He's tired, and a little on the cranky side, which then filters down to me, the little man-even the puppy dog. Add to it, I had a bit of a negative vibe going on all week. I have't worked out, haven't really eaten healthy. I didn't stick to the meal plan, I didn't plan out my clothes last weekend so I wasn't ready to go in the mornings. I swam upstream against the current all week, and I am definately not a salmon.
I knew that small things not getting done snowball into big things that don't get done. I am not happy about it, because I chose sitting on the couch night after night instead of doing other things. The puppy dog needs to get walked. The yard needs to get tended to. I did play with the little man outside last night, and we played soccer and played on the playset, and had fun. But I was worn out too. I had to almost force myself to play because I was tired-but it was worth the exhaustion because it made my son so happy. There are days that I hinge on that.
For a few months, my home was humming along happily, and all of sudden the last few weeks mass chaos has erupted. It seems that I can't get a handle on things again. Actually, I know that I can, its just that I'd rather hibernate...than face what needs to be done. My plan is to make sure I get enough sleep this weekend, and then also get back on the treadmill, because just that combination alone makes life easier. Between that, I naturally want to eat healthier. I want to do more activity. I am more highly motivated. I am a better wife and mother. I can accomplish more.
What does make it harder for me, is that I am tired of folks trying to drain my enthusiasm. I seem to attract more negative people than positive, and it really does suck the life out of me. Its frustrating when everyone around you is looking at the glass as half empty-and not be able to see any of the good in the world. I so don't want the little man to grow up like that, but its going to be hard. I don't want my son to be bitter and jaded and cynical (and I do have that side of my personality too)but its getting harder and harder to shield him.
I can't wave a magic wand and make all people I encounter be happy, but there are days I wish that I did.