That Loving Feeling

Its Monday, and another week is upon me. This week is not as insane as the last few weeks, but there is enough going on to get myself all worked up.

I did manage to get a lot accomplished over the weekend, and am looking forard to being able to build on that trend. One of the big things that I did was review the calendar on my Blackberry to make it work better for me. The other thing I did was go through my tote bag and control journal and make sure I had everything I need in there.
I have a breakdown of a lot of stuff in that binder: household duties, religious education, PTO, school, and most importantly-the holidays. I told the Big Man, that heaven forbid anything ever happened to me, he just needs to look at that book and he can find most things.

However, I must think positive. And one of the things that I am trying to think positive on is getting my health back on track. My goal is to lose 24 lbs between now and the holidays. Its quite do-able, but I have to be serious about it and not bs my way around it, like I do a lot of the time. What happens is I do this whole martyr thing (look how miserable I am because I am on a diet)and then I "cheat". Basically all I am doing is punishing myself on so very many levels, which isn't good. When I don't eat healthy and exercise and take care of myself, I am only hurting me-no one else.
So, do I want to take care of myself or am I going to cut corners and not do what I need to do to be my best? Do I want to eat well or eat junk? Do I want to be more flexible or not? Do I want to boost my endurance or not? Do I want to be as strong as I can be or not?
Its basically do I love myself or not?

If I love myself enough, I will take care of me. I will eat healthy. I will exercise. I will take care of me overall. At some point, there was a huge disconnect with me and taking care of myself. I lost that loving feeling basically. It was this whole forgetting that I truly matter and how can I be a good wife and mother if I don't take care of myself?

There are some levels to this as well. Its a package deal. I eat healthy. I exercise. I get enough rest. I take pride in my appearance. I also keep up with the housework, and keep the house tidy. I spend time with my boys. I have energy. I have the incentive to keep up with everything and be positive and happy.
Its time to bring back that loving feeling.