Beautiful

Trying something new-writing while on the treadmill. See how well this works out.

It's Monday. The weather is supposed to turn colder this week. There are rumors of snow in the forecast. I'm not ready. Actually, I am. I have really cute boots. I bought an awesome cloche style hat that shouldn't ruin my hair. I have a stylish dress coat. Bought gloves & hand cream & Burts Bees lip stuff. I am ready.

I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for winter. I keep thinking that soon I will have lost a lot of weight & can wear clothes that I love rather than something out of necessity. There is a huge difference between being a regular size & a plus size. In plus sizes: you are stuck with the selection. For some reason it is assumed if you are bigger you want to wear loud colors & obnoxious prints. Sorry folks but I like neutrals. I think I speak for a lot of women too.

The hardest thing for me being overweight is the fact that people do look at you. They look at what you're eating and drinking. They look at you not exercising or what not. It's like if you're overweight you eat junk & don't exercise. You are a couch potato. You don't care about yourself. Which maybe true for some chunkies, but not this chick.

I struggle with eating healthy & exercising. I struggle with taking my vitamins & getting enough sleep. I really struggle with drinking water. But why? Shouldn't I care enough about myself to eat healthy and be hydrated? It's the same with having a clean house and all. It's all about being my best. I could scream & yell & be miserable but I am never going to change the behavior of those around me if they don't want to change. I need to do it for me, and make myself happy. I need to enjoy my life, and being fat doesn't enhance anything for me. Having high cholesterol doesn't make me happy. I don't want to be crippled by arthritis, hampered by high blood pressure and diabetes along with goodness knows what else. I want to be strong, powerful & beautiful.