I grew up in an upper middle class home, surrounded by fairly well educated individuals. My grandfather went to Columbia; my Grama went to Pratt Design & Cooper Union; my aunt was an educator & my mother was 1 of the first female executives in her company. I admit, had a good life, growing up and lived in relative comfort. All my basic needs were met and then some. I was exposed to the arts & culture; I was able to travel; I really never wanted for much materially.
My husband grew up in a similar background; in addition both his parents served in the military.
I think this is why I struggle sometimes with the teen queen. Her background is vastly different from mine or even my husband's. She is originally from a fairly rural area, and her birth parents were barely educated. Neither of them really have done much to set the world on fire. In fact, other people have attempted to light a fire under their butts to get their lives together and not much has happened.
It is because of my life experience, and that of my husband, that we have a level of expectations that I think are completely out of context for her.
One thing that we are passionate about is education. That is something that can't be taken away from you, no matter what. I am a huge advocate of life long learning. I am a voracious reader. I listen to a variety of lectures on iTunes U. When I lived in Princeton, I attended lectures there. I belong to a book group. I attend the theatre and musical performance in a variety of genres.
I can do these things because I am above basic sustenance.
And because all of that is available to me. I have done a lot of volunteer work in my life, including with at risk youth in the inner city, and I know how detrimental a limited vision can be. However, because they were in an urban environment there were more choices and access to services.
Teen queen really struggles with schooling and the value of education. Knowing now about her past, that makes sense. If neither of your parents put a value on education or learning (and it starts at a very young age) then chances are you won't. Many of the kids I worked with at TASP had parents who were committed to their Children's success. That was a key component for those kiddos to do well and avoid many of the pitfalls of urban living.
Learning about her past, and her biological family helps us put her present in context. If neither parent finished high school or has even held a steady job, the reality is their kids will continue that cycle: its what they know. Even if we give her every opportunity for success going forward, it's a real possibility that she may never live up to her potential. It's just not in her DNA. I'm not saying to change is impossible, but those early experiences are the foundation for her.
Despite all the feelings I have towards little Man's birth parents, they placed a value on education and culture (anyone who chooses PBS programming over sponge bob any day proves that point). They read to him and provided him with his basic needs. And his parents loved him enough to let him go to a family who could provide more for him.
Teen queen has had a series of unfortunate events.
Our experience in the co op the other day will be the first of many of those I'm sure.
Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity. Margaret D. Nadauld
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