Catharsis or katharsis (Greek: κάθαρσις) is a Greek word meaning "cleansing" or "purging". It is derived from the verb καθαίρειν, kathairein, "to purify, purge," and it is related to the adjective καθαρός, katharos, "pure or clean."
And we are three.
God, in His infinite wisdom, knows what it takes for us to grow in love and obedience. Sometimes, it is incredible joy and happiness. Other times, it is the deepest heartache imagined. No matter where my family & I are on the journey, we have felt the loving arms surrounding us and walking by our sides.
Sometimes, no matter how badly you want something, it isn't meant to be. I know I have wanted things in my life that were not meant to be. As is the case now.
I refuse to engage in second guessing or beating myself up over past events. I can't go back in & change anything so why do it in the first place? Sure there are things I may have done differently, but in the end, I think we may have had the same outcome.
Right now we are left to pick up the pieces of a shattered life.
And we are three.
I know that we will survive and move on with our lives, but right now it is the time to mourn. My heart aches that I could not transcend all else to make things better. I am grieving many losses; the loss of the dream of the perfect family, the loss of adding to our family, the loss of hopes for the future. I am not alone in the grief; the boys are feeling it as well.
We are all in mourning for what may have been and what we have been through.
The journey as four may have been brief, but I learned a lot. I have learned that I have deep reserves of strength, grace, determination and patience. I learned how truly caring and protective my husband can be. I learned how loving, compassionate, mellow and truly wonderful my son is.
I have a new appreciation for many things and people.
And we are three, again. Me and my boys. On lifes journey together.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9zxh8NIxO4&feature=youtube_gdata_player
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