Friday, December 28, 2007

Starting Fresh for the New Year

I have to admit that I am a very good planner. In fact, I am a phenomenal planner. Its actually implementing said plans that I run into difficulty. I just went back to work full time, after being in part time limbo for the last 3 years. I have to admit that I am enjoying the fact that I have a consistent schedule, with set hours and best of all-no nights and no weekends. Little Man isn't as confused as he once was about when Mommy and Daddy were working. Things are go much more smoothly with that. Life seems to be getting a little easier and a little more peaceful every day.
I am enjoying the fact that we are finding some happiness and joy in our lives. DH and I are no longer snapping at each other all the time, which is such a blessing. I was getting so fed up with being miserable all the time. I feel like a dark shadow that had been following me for the last several years is now gone. Dissapated. Disappeared. And I feel good. Things are getting into a humming routine for the most part. We are working on getting things tidied up and meals cooked regularly. Its been hard because it seemed like so much was in flux for the last several years. I thought by working part time, I would have more time. In fact, the exact opposite happened. I wasn't able to keep up with the house. The hardest part was the lack of consistency in my life. I never really worked the same schedule from week to week. It was difficult on us all.
Now, I am back to consistency. Routine. Predictibility. I like that. I never thought that I would admit to it. I had always considered myself a free spirit, but now I am willing to admit that I need that stability in my life.
So, I am getting ready to start fresh for the new year. I am starting over again. I do not believe in resolutions, but I do believe in monthly goals. I believe in setting myself up for challenges that I can and will achieve. For example, in the upcoming month of January, I want to accomplish several things. I want to be able to have a daily cleaning ritual, one that will establish peace, serenity and tranquility in my home. I want to be prepared and able to feed my family healthy, nutritious meals, from both the pantry and the freezer. I want to exercise every day-not to lose weight or tone up muscle or whatever. I want to do it because I like the way it makes me feel. I like feeling strong and powerful. I like feeling sleek and sexy. It makes me happy. Just like eating good food and having a clean home. It makes me happy. And that is the ultimate goal.

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