Just Breathe

My little man was named Student of the Month at his school. I even get a bumper sticker to prove it! He got a lovely certificate, that I need to get a frame for and hang up this weekend. I am so incredibly proud of him! While I had every belief and hope that he would achieve this, I didn't think it would be possible in first grade. Too cool! So much for all the naysayers that told me he wouldn't be able to be in a regular class, let alone go solo.
I love proving them wrong!
I took a scrap class last night, and made a home sweet home door hanging. Its so cute and its made of rabbit fencing! Who would have thought? But I am so very happy with how it turned out. I love classes like that because you walk out the door with a finished project.
I think that I need to actually go to a crop and get inspired. I volunteered myself to make an album for the little man's teacher as an end of the year gift. I asked the other parents to send in a note and a picture of their child for the album, and then I will use pictures from different class events to fill in. I actually have to get started on it soon, but I need to get the album and stuff too. Ugh-that part is never ending.
I have been stuck in one type of scrapping for a long time. I actually started when my sister was about 7, and have been going ever since. Well, sort of. I faithfully scrapped her childhood, and made beautiful (and quite expensive) albums with all sorts of design elements, etc. that made them true works of art. With my son, I am lucky if a slap a picture down on a page with a little journaling. Its like I expanded the creative energy once, and I don't have it in me anymore. I know I do, but I haven't gotten there yet.
Its the same with pets. The princess had guinea pigs and a rabbit when she was younger. I am the one that cleaned the cages and did all the grunt work with them. As a result, I am quite reluctant to let the little man get anything like that. Heck, I was worried about the fish!
I don't like feeling like that, because he is a unique person, and deserves to have his mom celebrate him with these amazing albums. But I don't...
Shhh...I have a secret. I've been married for almost 8 years and I still haven't finished my wedding album. I've sat down to do it, but then I wind up not finishing it. I am missing pictures (call out to those who might have some digital pictures they can email me) and I am not happy with how I started it. So, one day I will sit down and finish it, but I have so much other scrapping to do too.
I am trying very hard to get back in control over my life. I have not hit the treadmill since last week, and I miss it. Little Man is already up and playing, so that leaves off today. I feel like ye olde slug, because I am not doing what I need to do (and really have to for my health). I have this block about it right now-I know I need to, and I really enjoy it, but I am not doing it. I find excuse after excuse, and what it boils down to is this whole feeling that I don't deserve to be healthy or something silly like that.
One phrase I dont like my little man to use is "I can't". I tell him all the time that there is nothing he can't do if he sets his mind to it. He even became student of the month, he performs everyday miracles by just being himself.
Mommy, on the other hand, not so much. I keep telling people I don't do x, and it seems because I have put that out to the universe, I've lost my ability to do it. Like with baking. I did this whole thing about I don't bake, because I was trying to downplay my domestic diva side (I was hanging out with a bunch of folks who were definately not domestic by any stretch of the imagination)and now it seems like I don't bake as well as I used to. Or scrap, or really do a lot of things. Its like I've been sending out negative vibes to everyone and everything, and its come back to me with a vengence. I need to start sending out positive ones-like I make excellent cookies. Especially pizzelles, which I will be making this weekend.
I do a lot of things well, but the one thing that I am both the most confident in and most worried about is being a mom.
But I need to just breathe and let it be.