Unbelievable

I have been breathlessly following the news accounts of the woman who sent her adopted 7 year old back to Russia on a one way ticket. This action just speaks volumes about a selfish, unprepared person who doesn't seem to care what her actions do to an innocent child. It just boggles my mind that she could just pack him up and send him off that way.
I am not going to lie, being a parent is hard work. There are days when my son knows exactly what buttons to push to get a rise out of me. There have been days when my journey has been incredibly difficult, and that I all I could do was cry because I was so frustrated. For the most part, I don't have many days like that, so when they do happen its hard because they are so rare.
I couldn't put myself in this woman's shoes, I don't know what her training is and what kind of support network she has. Apparently she is a nurse, a single mom who desperately wanted to be a parent. My advice to people like that-get a dog. It truly is great training for parenting. I learned so much from my puppy dog that I think it made me a better mom. Patience was definately number one lesson.
Adopting an older child, especially one who had been in an orphanage is a daunting task. Most of these children suffer from reactive attachment disorder, which means they never learned to bond with caregivers and others. They suffer from horrendous temper tantrums and tend to act out. These children didn't ask for these issues, they didn't ask to be in the situation where they were not living with their parents. It takes a lot of love and patience to parent these kids. Children who have been in foster care also tend to suffer from reactive attachment disorder. In order to conquer and manage it, it takes a lot of love, patience and intervention.
It seems as if this mom didn't have the ability to seek assistance. Her mother freely admits that this adoptive mom did not seek therapy or counseling for her son. She refused to meet with the social worker from the adoption agency. Her son was not enrolled in school, and did not have any social interaction with his peers. Imagine his bewilderment-he goes from an institution which had been his home, to a foreign country with a language barrier to a brand new environment. He had to learn new rules in a new home, a new way of life. Did this woman ever for a moment to think how stunning and overwhelming this might be for a child?
I think she thought that once she got him home that things would be perfect. All would be well in her world. I don't think she was truly prepared to meet his needs. I am not knocking single parents, but with a special needs child (and RAD certainly qualifies) it can be exhausting-especially in the beginning where there is that dance of getting to know each other. You need a break, and that's where the support system comes in. She also is a nurse, which means she probably works long shifts and is exhausted when she comes home. That adds an extra layer to being a parent, and working to meet the special needs of this little boy.
What has not been reported in the papers and on line...how much time did she take off from work at the beginning to bond with her son? How well were they able to communicate? What support system did she have? Why didn't she seek counseling for the family?
I could never imagine abandoning my child like that, despite the issues. There is a problem with the mom, that she could not muster up enough unconditional love to try to make it work with this innocent child.
She doesn't even deserve fish.