My Baby Loves Me (Just the Way that I Am)

I love my husband so much that I married him twice. Once was the real, big fancy ceremony and reception at my church, and the second time was two years later at his church.
I am very fortunate that I am married to the Big Man, no matter where or what church has blessed it. He is such a special kind of guy, especially since he has put up with the likes of me for the past 18 years. We met on a blind date, arranged by a former mutual friend, and it was the best blind date EVER. Who would have ever thought?
There are a lot of emotions involved in our relationship, and there is a delicate balance that must be maintained for all of us to be happy. I know what my struggles are-mostly being a domestic diva, my relationship to food and exercise, feeling comfortable in my own skin-and he's supported me every step of the way. I am so truly blessed to be married to a man who just "gets me". A lot of other folks would have walked away from this mess of a chick a long time ago.
Instead, he stuck it out. And here we are, 18 years later and loving our happy little family. Its very exciting to be part of something so special. Our relationship truly is special-no other way to describe it or explain it. From the very beginning, there has been this connection between the two of us where its almost telepathic. No other way to describe it, but we can just look at each other and know what the other is thinking. I mean, we still hold hands and do little romantic things for the other. He fixes me coffee in my favorite mug every day. He does laundry for me, takes an active role in parenting, does all sorts of things around the house.
For a while, I was dealing with a bunch of negativity in my life, and there were folks that weren't happy with their relationships, so they would try to bring me down with trying to get me to join in on their husband bashing. I tried really hard not to, but being around these folks caused me to look at my marriage in a harsh light. Instead of focusing on the positive things, I kept looking for the negative-what he was doing wrong instead of what was right. And it fueled a lot of negativity in my life. Its really sad to go through life looking at the cup as half empty.
From the very beginning, there have been so-called "friends" that would make disparaging remarks about our relationship and try to find ways to put it down. Maybe its because I have a more traditional view of a relationship and marriage. I believe in a Biblical relationship-God is the head of the church, and the husband is the head of the home. There are some folks who think that its sexist and that he's "domineering". I decided that in our relationship, not my Big Man. I've been called a Stepford Wife by more than one person. I've been told by a lot of people that wanting domestic bliss was limiting myself.
I've also dealt with the harsh stings of people who have actually tried to engineer our demise. Its pretty sad to know people who I thought I could trust tried to undermine my relationship, but this has also shown me who my true friends are. I think the saddest part of it all was learning that there are a whole bunch of people that don't have my best interest in mind when they are trying to plot the end of my marriage. I know that the Enemy puts these people in my life to test me. Its like the snake in the garden of Eden, "go on, just take a bite".
Its very insidious, actually. There are these whispers-you know, you should be doing x...he doesn't like short hair? its your hair!...there are a lot of little comments that just build up, and at times cause me to second guess my marriage. That is just plain silly, because they don't live in my home and know what goes on there. Most of these folks, I must point out, have a trail of unsuccessful relationships behind them-or think nothing of bashing their husbands in public. Some even do it on facebook and/or twitter. That's pretty bad-airing dirty laundry in public.
So, every so often I lose my gumption, and feel tempted to join in this estrogen fest, and it causes a lot of problems for me. It doesn't cause me to fight with the Big Man, or anything like that. Instead, it causes me to add another brick in the wall that I build around me. Basically, these are folks that don't respect their families or their marriages-or even their children.
In the end, that's very sad. Its sad to go home to a house where you are miserable-and that misery extends to their children. Who wants to be in that environment? Its sad to go home to a house where the mom belittles the dad-even if its never spoken, the attitude is there and it reflects in all that she does-because there is a sense of conflict in the home. Having a peaceful home should be everyone's goal, because that reflects in our children. It reflects in all that we do-that sense of anger, betrayal, misery.
I think there are way too many women who for whatever reason or another just want to share their unhappiness and misery with others. Its this whole competition thing, where they want to make themselves better by tearing someone else down. Its the same when they see another child in their child's class get in trouble or does something wrong or whatever. They love it when they see someone else's house is messier than their own. They love it when someone else gains weight or has an off fashion day or bad hair day. They rejoice when things go wrong with someone else's life. They make critical comments about other people's fashion sense, gardening skills, hair styles, etc. They love to talk about others (never in a positive light either-nothing is ever good enough)and you know if they are talking about them, they are also talking about YOU. Its really pretty sad actually to go through life like that.
What's really sad is I've let this negative talk rule me for a long time, and its working to undermine my marriage and my life. Sad, because these folks just want everyone else to be as miserable as they are. And its hard because some of them go as far as to make comments on my twitter/facebook status updates and make it seem like there is something wrong with me for loving my husband and family. These are the same people that are tearing their own families down in their status updates, and it really makes me sad. I would never call my child a name for the whole world to see, nor would I do that to my husband. In public or private.
So, maybe I am a throwback to a different era and a different kind of relationship. But its not for anyone else to judge, because they are not living my life with my husband and son. I am doing what works for us, and that is what is important. I am blessed that no matter what, there is that undercurrent of unconditional love that means that my Big Man loves me, no matter what. And for that fact alone, I am the luckiest woman alive.