Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Its Day 6 post concussion. My head still hurts, not as bad as it did a few days ago, but its still there. I still am in amazement that I did this to myself. I really don't have anything to complain about-look at the DT from Rutgers who was paralyzed from the neck down over the weekend.

I spent the weekend on the couch, resting. It was not my first choice of how to do things but it is what it is. I know its what I needed to do, and I had to do it. The Big Man took over, but I know that it wasn't what he wanted to do either. It didn't matter to the Little Man, but its all good. I needed to do that to let my noggin heal.

I have noticed a few things that have come out of this experience, and some are good. One is my sense of smell has returned. I haven't really been able to "smell" for most of my adult life. I don't remember when it stopped, sometime in my teenage years, and it was a dulling of it. Its really awkward sometimes, because I can't smell at a heightened level-like if something has turned in the fridge, I don't know unless its really bad. And I mean really bad. But the last few days, I can smell even subtle things. Its a little creepy, because I am not used to it.
The other thing I've noticed is that my tolerance level is decreasing. I let a lot of things slide, mainly because I am not one to encourage conflict. However, it just popped up in my mind that why am I putting up with all this BS? Obviously, I am not living my best life is I swallowing a lot of things that truly make me angry or miserable. Its of my own making, but there are times where I feel like I am an observer in my own life.
And most of all, I realized that I am not really liking all this chaos going on around me. I want a clean house and good meals. I want to spend time with my family that consists of more than watching tv in the same room. I want to look good, and feel good. I put myself last so much of the time, and its not right.

Its Monday, and I need to get my week going. I need to make some babysteps back into my life-to go from nothing all weekend to being at warp speed again. I need to take charge again, and not feel like I am waiting in the wings for my moment in the spotlight. To quote Trent Dilfer, "a cluttered mind equals a cluttered life" (well paraphrase at least). I know that I've seen things reduce in my life.

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