Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Pressure Drop

Its Wednesday again. The first time in a week that I did not wake up with a massive headache. I think I am on the mend.Finally.

Last year, my Little Man also got a big bump on the noggin, and actually wound up being hospitalized over night because of it. He was jumping on his bed and fell backwards, hitting the back of his head on the headboard. It was a big bang, and a brutal injury. My heart broke for him, watching him in pain, and unable to really communicate with the medical staff. He retreated back into the shell, and was a very vulnerable little boy during that experience. Last night, as he cuddled into my lap and read me his Star Wars encyclopedia, he was telling me how he watched the Clone Wars when he was in the hospital. That was his lingering memory.
Sigh of relief.

I am afraid that baseball season might end today. The Big Man's beloved Yankees might be eliminated this afternoon. After that, the season is done. Its a little bit of a let down for me, even though I don't have any vested interest in it. I just like watching my husband enjoy the game and be happy.

Right now I have a bit of stress going on with school. Nothing from PTO or anything like that. The class mom who VOLUNTEERED for the role has not been doing her job. Next Thursday is the Harvest Party in class, and nothing has been planned. Little Man's teacher emailed me because I am the backup plan. I mean, I can whip this party together (I actually already have mentally) and it will all be good. My thought, play ring around the pumpkin, have a gourd relay, do harvest bingo for a game. For a craft, make pumpkin frames or decorate pumpkins or something that I see in Hobby Lobby. For a snack, cupcakes and juice. Done, done and done. Its just frustrating to me because the fact mom isn't doing what she is supposed to (no emails about any events so far)I don't want the class to suffer, because if this party isn't taken care of, the kids won't have one.

This is one of my biggest pet peeves. If you are not going to follow through, why volunteer to do something? It is even more crystal clear to me as PTO president, because we are completely dependent on volunteers. If someone doesn't take care of business, then it brings the whole organization down. And right now, this class mom is not following through. Its not fair to the Little Man's class, because they will suffer. I can't see cancelling the party because of one person's ineffectiveness.

So, this is where it stands. I am ready to take care of all this, and I had planned on being there anyway-I just need a few volunteers to help. And if I don't get them, well, I can manage on my own with the teacher.
I am good under pressure.

Some people are adrenoline junkies and they do things like extreme sports or bungee jumping. I am one that seems to thrive off stress. I don't intend to, but its just how the chips fall. I am a different kind of adrenoline junkie. Yes I used to cram for exams and then get an A, reinforcing that behavior. I do crisis cleaning on a regular basis. I get by life by the skin of my teeth. I see how much junk food, etc I can eat before I gain wait or suffer ill effects. Its like how far can I push the envelope before I push it too far?

ALong with that type of envelope pushing, I have another item to add. Two days in a row we got phone calls from DSS about taking long term foster placements. The first one was easy to say no to-two boys, not the age group that we would consider. The second one was framed as we think you would be perfect for these kids. Almost like how can I say no? But its a brother and sister, and despite the tender ages of 3 & 6, they have a lot of issues and need a lot. It breaks my heart to hear their tale-they are innocent and didn't ask for all this.
The verse of the day on my phone told me to leave things up to God.
My horoscope basically was all over this, basically telling me to run away.

I talked to the Big Man, and he didn't seem to have an opinion on it. If he did, he wasn't saying last night.

I can't save the world, and I don't have the energy and resources for my present situation, let alone anything else.

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